How to Instantly Click with Everyone You Meet

by Lolly Daskal -

Why is it we click with some people and not others? What if we could actually click with everyone we meet? What would it take?

Try these simple steps to instantly connect with anyone and to build stronger relationships with the people who are already in your life:

Take a genuine interest.

Everyone--everyone--has something unique to offer. Find out what makes people who they are. 

Hear their story. Ask questions. Dig deep and connect.

Build on common ground.

At its most basic level, any relationship is built on some kind of common ground. 

When you meet someone, try to find something that connects you to similar backgrounds, values experiences. When you detect a pattern, a "Yeah, me too!" moment, connection is instantaneous.

Smile.

"Smile and the whole world smiles with you." Sure, it's a cliche, but for good reason. 

A smile generates enthusiasm and interest; it communicates friendliness and goodwill; it shows you to be accessible and approachable. 

Smile when you speak to someone, as you walk into a room, and when you pick up the phone.

Remember names.

Notice how people introduce themselves and let that be your guide in addressing them. 

Remembering a person's name is important, and using it occasionally in conversation creates connection and helps you remember.

Encourage people to talk.

The key to locking into any relationship is to invite someone to talk, and then listen. 

Most people are just waiting for the other person to finish so they can say their part. Listen and show interest, even if it means stretching your attention span.

Learn from everyone you meet.

Keep the focus on the other person. As a bonus, this prevents your being dragged into gossip. 

Stay focused on his or her interests; find something this person can teach you that will be useful or interesting to know.

Show up with enthusiasm.

People who live with passion find it easier to connect with others. 

Knowing what you really care about and why lets you tap into your own enthusiasm. Upbeat people are inherently likable, and those who radiate enthusiasm tend to click with others.

Make others feel important.

Use your words and attitude to create a spotlight. Let the person you're speaking with know he or she is important, and important to you, by the way you talk. 

Let the sound of your voice be energized. Ask for input. Ask for advice. Ask for help. Ask for insight. Ask for experience. All of these invitations tell the person, "I find you important."

Look for the good.

Be generous with others; look for points of agreement and places where you can affirm or reinforce what they're saying. 

Speak patiently and with care, and those around you will feel heard and appreciated.

Treat others as you want to be treated.

As often as we've heard this, it's still easy to forget to do it from time to time. Don't overthink or complicate it: The power is in the simplicity.

Connecting with others does not take much. It is truly simple. Just be mindful, thoughtful, and genuinely interested.

Offer an honest compliment or your authentic appreciation. There's always something to appreciate about almost anyone.

Maybe it's nothing more than being genuine, as simple as being a leader--or a person--who cares, because when you care, you'll instantly click with everyone you meet.

lollydaskal.com

10 Surefire Tips to Help You Avoid Burnout

by Lolly Daskal -

Stress can get on top of the best of us, but there are things you can do to fight back against burnout. Try these 10 simple steps to reclaim your mojo.

First, the good news.

Burnout typically affects people who are highly committed to their work and effective in their job. I don't have to tell you the bad news about burnout--it's common knowledge.

Burnout may show up as exhaustion, annoyance, and irritation, or as a lack of focus, inability to work for extended periods of time, and a tendency to question and cancel everything in sight. You may notice that you're not eating or sleeping well and that your relationships and effectiveness are suffering.

If a short-term situation is the cause, don't worry.

The negative effects can be minimal and you will you will be happy of the work you achieved. But if you find yourself sustaining a stressful routine for a long time without much relief, you're at risk of burning out. 

TIPS TO KEEP BURNOUT AT BAY:

1. Rest and relax. 

Rest is the best single way to let stress subside. It can come in many forms: reading, walking, or simply tuning out. Find something you enjoy amid the negativity. 

2. Change up the view. 

Changing your scenery may mean taking a vacation. But if that's out of reach, you can always take a mental break by mediating. Or shut it all down for a while and take a walk, go to the park, listen to music--do something that makes you happy and gives you energy. 

3. Sleep. 

On average, people really do need eight hours of sleep a night. Without enough sleep, your effectiveness and energy will suffer. Make sure you're getting the rest you need to stay on top of your game. 

4. Move. 

Take time to walk after work, or go to the gym or play a sport . The benefits--mental and physical--are great. 

5. Rewind, reflect, remember. 

Take time to remember why you're doing what you do. What is your purpose? Why is this work so important to you? What do you hope to achieve? 

6. Create a daily ritual. 

Start a new morning or evening ritual. It can be reading, exercising, or just not doing anything. Add it to your daily schedule as a must-do. Giving time for yourself to your day is a good form of self-care. 

7. Device detox. 

This item may well be the hardest on the list. It means no cellphone, computer, TV, video games, or anything that puts you in front of a screen for at least 24 hours. At first it will feel physically uncomfortable, but if you can make it through it's quite refreshing. 

8. Give up on excuses. 

When everything's a burden and you find yourself being dragged down and feeling others are at fault, it's time for a reality check. If there's a problem, take responsibility that you might own a share of it. Start working on how you can make things better. 

9. Don't go it alone. 

This is a tough one, especially if you're a resourceful do-it-on-your-own type. When you are burned out, it may be because you think you have to do everything yourself. When you're stressed and overwhelmed, ask for help. It's not so hard. 

10. Remember, you count. 

Whatever is going on in your life, remember that you're not a bystander. Get in there. If you don't make yourself a priority, then who will? Be responsible for yourself; show others how a busy person can find balance and accountability.

The bottom line: 

The best way to recover from burnout--or, better yet, to avoid it--is to be good to yourself. It takes constant awareness and reflection and managing and maintenance but when you do you will reap the reward of a better life.

lollydaskal.com

How to Turn Every Failure Into Success

by Lolly Daskal -

Our failures can be our greatest teachers--if only we would let them. You don't have to look hard to see the benefits of failure:

• Before coaching the Dallas Cowboys to two Super Bowl victories and five NFC championships, Tom Landry had one of the worst first seasons on record (winning no games) and won five or fewer games over the next four seasons.

• Before Microsoft, Bill Gates dropped out of Harvard and tanked his first business (with Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen), Traf-O-Data.

• Albert Einstein didn't speak until he was 4 and did not read until he was 7, causing his teachers and parents to think he was mentally handicapped. He was expelled from school and refused admittance to Zurich Polytechnic.

The truth is that anyone who has achieved anything great has at some point made a choice to embrace failure instead of allowing it to hold him or her back.

Failure paves our way to success and gives us permission to excel. The key is how we respond to failure. 

SOME OF THE BENEFITS:

1. Failure is a reason to investigate. 

Look for what went wrong, rather than who's to blame. Investigation helps us determine whether there was a lack of information or training at the root, so we know what to shore up. 

2. Failure is a reason to learn. 

If you're not prepared to be wrong, you'll never come up with anything original. When you take risks, you learn that there will be times when you succeed and times when you fail, and both are equally important. 

3. Failure is a reason to overcome fear. 

Everything you want is on the other side of fear. We all experience disappointment, defeat, and despair; these are the tools to show us a new way. Take the time to evaluate and analyze what you have learned, and consider how you can attain new results. 

4. Failure is a reason to be accountable. 

Failure isn't fatal, but failure to change might be. Failure holds us accountable by reminding us of the difference between making a mistake and making it again and again. 

5. Failure is a reason to shift. 

Failure is delay, not defeat; a detour, not a dead end. Shift delay into determination, negative into positive, and negativity into optimism. 

6. Failure is a reason to overcome adversity. 

Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit. You can build on failure. You can use it as a steppingstone. 

7. Failure is a reason for innovation. 

When we give ourselves permission to fail, we give ourselves permission to excel and innovate. Failure means you are trying new things, learning new things, and pushing yourself in new directions.

We speak about success all the time but it's time to give failure its due as a catalyst for greatness and means for success.

lollydaskal.com

12 Ways to Tap Into Your Motivation

by Lolly Daskal -

When you're feeling overworked, overwhelmed and overextended, as we so often do these days, you may find yourself avoiding certain tasks, putting off a difficult conversation or maybe even ignoring important priorities.

You know that the longer you wait the harder the task becomes, that the more you delay the harder the motivation is to find. But how can you turn it around?

Motivation is a force that comes from within. It helps us to push on when things are difficult and overcome lethargy and procrastination.

Here are 12 ways to tap into your motivation when you're feeling least inspired:

1. Mind your mindset. 

If you concentrate only on the task and how daunting it is, you may never get it done. Instead, think about how it will feel when the task is done. Imagining the relief and happiness can help get you moving. 

2. Pay more attention to why and less to how. 

If you're holding yourself back worrying how you'll get something done, chances are you're struggling with perfectionism. Try taking how off the table and focusing instead on why: Why is this important? Why is it worthy of my time? 

3. Set smart goals. 

Goal-setting is most helpful if you remember to set SMART goals--Specific, Measurable Attainable, Relevant and Timely. SMART goals can help you navigate effectively through all the things you have to do and set priorities on the fly. 

4. Start small. 

Break down your tasks into smaller pieces to make them more manageable and motivate you to start. 

5. Hold yourself accountable. 

Make a point of telling others that you have taken responsibility for the tasks, and share a deadline. It's motivating to have someone watching. 

6. Use time wisely. 

With so many competing demands, time mastery is more important than ever. Learn how to take control of your time and ensure you get things done. 

7. Crush procrastination. 

Especially when your motivation is low, it's easy to give in to procrastination. Discipline yourself so that now means now, whether you feel like it or not. 

8. Find a carrot. 

Decide on a reward and agree to give it to yourself when you've completed a task or set of tasks. It doesn't have to be exorbitant--a visit to the coffeeshop, a walk, or an evening off may be all you need. 

9. Keep it real. 

Part of procrastination is an avoidance of the reality of consequences. What will happen if you don't do your part? How will it affect your career? Your team? Your organization? Focus on your reality and start making things happen. 

10. Look around you. 

It's hard to get anything done if you're in the company of lazy and unmotivated people. But if you are surrounded by positive and driven people who encourage and empower you, you'll get things done much more efficiently and effectively. 

11. Ask for help. 

Hard as it can be to get started, sometimes it's even harder to ask for help. Nobody wants to appear incompetent. But often even a little bit of help can unleash all kinds of energy. 

12. Post-it. 

Use a Post-It pad and write on each sheet something that drives and motivates you. Stick them near your desk and computer for the next time you need a little extra push.

Finding the motivation within can be difficult but the ability to stay motivated, even when you don't feel inspired is a huge factor in your ability to be successful and something you'll always do well to cultivate.

lollydaskal.com