by Avalon De Witt -
Whether you want to deepen your marriage, attract a mate or just get along better with your boss, it always helps when you bring Spirit into your relationships.
Many times we get caught up in "taking care of business" in relationships and we go through the motions, forgetting all about Spirit. When you bring Spirit to your relationships, you are drawing from a power that is infinite.
Many times we get caught up in "taking care of business" in relationships and we go through the motions, forgetting all about Spirit. When you bring Spirit to your relationships, you are drawing from a power that is infinite.
How can we do that more? Here are some starters:
1) Listen
Really listen. Don't try to "do active listening," or any other listening technique. When you're concentrating on a technique, you're not listening. Just take in what the other person has to say.
Receive the meaning of the message, without immediately jumping to respond to the message. Listening helps you connect with people. Spirit loves to show up when people are connecting.
2) Practice Non-judgment
You never know how something might serve the ultimate good in the long run. It is not up to us to decide that the other person is right or wrong, good or bad. This does not mean you cannot assess things in your relationships.
You can assess whether someone is being sincere, honest, trustworthy and so on. We just don't have to assign a value judgment to that, by saying it is good or bad. It just IS. And what you make of it - is up to you.
3) Seek to Understand the Other
Don't worry about being misunderstood. When you drop your concern about that, and get curious about understanding the other person, two things happen. First, you stop stressing yourself about what others think of you. Second, you show the other person that they are important to you.
When the other person sees that they are genuinely important to you, they will generally return the feeling. Not to mention, being able to understand another person just feels good, and feeling good always brings Spirit to relationships.
4) Be Honest
If someone likes you for something that you're not, then it's not you that they like. Be who you are. Most people will respect you for your honesty, even if they don't agree with you. But don't go along with others just to please them, if it doesn't please you too.
People will sense your discomfort and yet may not know why, which will create tension in the relationship where it's not necessary. Be true to yourself by speaking up and telling the truth about who you are and what you desire. I always say, "If you're not being true to yourself, you're not being true to anyone else. "
5) Eat Together
You've got to break bread together. There is no substitute for sitting down and sharing a meal with a person. Animals will not eat when they are threatened.
When you eat with someone, you are showing them that you trust them. And when two people are trusting each other, THERE is Spirit.
6) Stop Analyzing the Relationship
Stop analyzing, stop worrying about the future of your relationship and just BE in the relationship. Enjoy the relationship here and now. The here and now - is your bridge to the future.
If you are spending your todays worried about your tomorrows, you're not here, in today, doing what it takes to build something that can endure.
7) Say Thank You
The more you are thankful, the more you will have to be thankful for. And of course, people usually like being thanked. Saying thank you is like returning what's been given to you, with interest, except it doesn't cost you anything.
Most of the time, thanking someone will make you feel just as good as the other person feels hearing it, sometimes even better.
8) Look to See What You Can Learn
When we are open to learning, we are expanding. When we are expanding, we are growing. When we are growing, that's the work of Spirit.
There is always something more for us to learn. When we stop learning, we stop growing, and when we're not growing, we're dying. Learn and live!
9) Be Selfish
I'm talking Selfish, NOT selfish. Self with a big "S," not a small one. What you are doing in the relationship needs to be more important to you than what the other person is doing in the relationship, if you want Spirit to show up. You can't control the other person.
You can't always know what another person's intentions are. But you can control yourself, and you can know your own intentions. When you concentrate on your own desires, intentions and actions, rather than those of the other person, you are taking responsibility for your part in the relationship. No one else can do that for you.
10) Know that You Are Beautiful
The spirit inside of you came from The Divine Light. If you are alive, you have light inside of you, and that light is beautiful. When you see the beauty in yourself, it's easier to see it in others.
Enjoy the beauty that is in you. Admire it. Let it make you smile, the way the beauty of a child or a sunset makes you smile. Your sense of beauty will become contagious.Remember that the purpose of relationships is spiritual growth.
Every interaction is one more opportunity to become more of who you truly are. Spirit is the breath of life in relationships. Without it, we fall short of connecting with others. Bring more of Spirit to your relationships and watch how much easier it is to get along and to find fulfillment in all your interactions!
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