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The Square Peg in the Round Hole



by Dr. Carolyn Porter -

I’m sure you’ve all heard the saying: you cannot fit a square peg in a round hole, or even vice versa. No matter how hard you whittle away in your attempt, it is never going to happen.

It has been used frequently when referencing relationships in which the individuals, particularly in intimate relationships, try desperately to make things work, even though they realize they are too different in what they want in the relationship.

This goes way beyond just the attempt to make two completely different individuals stay in a relationship.

There are many things in life that are mismatches and will not work even if you try with everything you’ve got to give. 


Let’s examine a few of these instances.
1) You have a job that pays your bills. You are tired of the stress that comes with this job and the lack of creativity you have. 
You feel stagnant and unappreciated, yet you tell yourself you have to remain to pay your bills, so you settle for less than you deserve. You probably do your best to like the job more or attempt to reduce your stress load but somehow it never happens.  
That’s because you as the square peg cannot fit into this round hole; it’s not what you are meant to do. Yet you remain for fear of not receiving the income you want or need in a new and different job you could love. 
2) Perhaps some of the friends you associate with do not raise you up any more but you want friends and people around you so you hang on. 
things they talk you into doing don’t really fit you or their conversations bore you, but you keep them around anyhow. Perhaps you’ve forgotten that as you grow people will fall away – these so-called friends that were so important once.  
You must let go of the old before the new can enter your life; that’s the way it works. Once again, you cannot fit the square peg into the round hole. 
3) I wonder how many intimate relationships begin with one partner thinking they can change the other and make him/her into what they want? The chemistry felt good as did the commonalities, so the person ignored the red flags that had appeared.  
From what I’ve learned in my life and from my clients, many of them did see some red flags but went through with the wedding/relationship anyhow, only to discover as time went on that they couldn’t change their partner at all.  
Of course there are exceptions to every “rule,” but most of the time it doesn’t work ‘cause you cannot fit the square peg into a round hole! It’s sad that many individuals don’t look past the physical chemistry for what’s below the surface of their partner, and we know that the initial chemistry can fade rather quickly as various issues and characteristics appear. 
4) Another case is the person who remains in their job for security and is not living their purpose in any way, shape or form. 
They know inside something big is missing and they may fight with depression, guilt or even anger without the awareness of why.  
While we do have to survive in this life with sufficient income to live, many people keep jobs for simply the income even though they are miserable and totally unhappy. No matter what they tell themselves they dread going to work each day and it continually drags them down.
Living Your Purpose

Living your purpose however puts you in complete alignment with your soul’s mission and is a freedom like nothing else.

There is no worry about trying to fit anything into anything for it is a perfect fit; you can feel that inside of you.

Sometimes an individual has no idea what their purpose is.

However, when you live each day in pure joy and are open to understanding your purpose while being willing to let go of anything that is a block for uncovering it, then it will appear for you. 

Letting Go

Letting go can be the hardest part for many individuals but it’s only when you let go of trying to control your life and force together things that aren’t meant to be, that amazing things show up.

The same is true for anything or anyone that you are attempting to make fit into that round hole.

Letting go can be difficult but it is how the new can appear in your life, the perfect fit for you. 

So I’m asking you: What do you need to let go of right now? What square peg have you been trying to fit into a round hole that hasn’t worked and will never work?

Now is the time to make the changes you need to make so you can truly find the freedom, peace, love and joy you absolutely deserve. The square peg will never fit in the round hole!



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