Up Your Game!

by Tina Olivero - 

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you’re just passing time, punching the clock or going through the motions?

Did you feel like something just wasn’t quite right?  Perhaps you were missing a deep sense of passion or a spark of energy or a vitality for life itself?

That happens.  It happens to us all.  It happens when we’ve plateaued on the learning front and we are not in alignment with our passion.

So how do you get from powerless to powerful?   

How do you shift from a lack of passion for wildly on purpose?   

How do you work and live in ways that truly inspire you?

Here’s the answer….You go where you wouldn’t go before.

Ask yourself, 

• “is this work in alignment with my joy?”.  
• ”If I wasn’t doing this what would I be doing?”  

Or maybe it’s the right place for your passion but it’s gotten stale because the game you’re playing is not big enough.

Everyone loves to take an adventure and working on what you love also has to be an adventure.  

It has to motivate you, push you beyond your comfort zone, have you go to places you’ve never gone, expand your thinking, support your vision and goals in ways that allow you to make a difference and be a contribution to others.

Think about it.  

The times you’re most exhilarated in life is when you’re doing something beyond your current world.  Something that brings you to new places.  

• Travelling, 
• skiing down the black diamond run, 
• having authentic and very deep talks, 
• taking a spiritual adventure, 
• going for a degree, 
• reshaping your body into a masterpiece, 
• writing  your most daring piece, 
• pushing the envelope on what’s possible, 
• overcoming seemingly insurmountable challenges, 
• climbing Mt. Everest, 
• doing a wild and amazing piece of art, 
• visiting the lost cities, 
• inventing something, 
• designing a whole new process that works better than anything we’ve ever used, 
• creating unprecedented connection with others, 
• being a contribution to the masses and so on.

Get the picture?

Until you’re out there on the court, playing full out….life…is lifeless.  But as soon as you’re up for a massive game and you’re playing to win, and that game expands you, teaches you, shifts you from good to great, brings in a whole new level of performance, then and only then do things get wildly exciting.

So what’s your game?  

What’s the game that would have you on fire?  Where’s the thrill?  Where’s the place that has you so on purpose that time stands still?  Wheres the place you call “FUN”?  Where’s the place that makes you’re heart beat faster and want to jump out of bed in the morning because you can’t wait to get at it?

Find it, and go there….  

If’ you’ve found it and you don’t have the WOW factor ….UP YOUR GAME!

TransformWithTina.com

When the Shift Hits the Fan

by Tina Olivero -

Ever feel like everything is crumbling down around you?  Nothing seems to be working as you’d like?  There’s a lot money issues, relationship problems, people at work are bugging you, things seem overwhelming and there’s an endless list of obstacles in your way?

You’re not the only one!

In fact just about every day someone has a money issue concern, a relationship concern, a co-worker concern, a family problem or an overwhelming challenge to contend with. To be a human being is to have issues that require solutions.

So, if we have issues every day,  then how come we get snarly, act insulted or rejected, and often feel powerless in the face of our issues?  Why do we respond like this issue is the first time it’s ever happened to us?  Why are we so damned surprised – like this should never be happening to “us”?

The answer is CONTEXT!  

Yes, context.  Context in the way that we hold that issue or problem.  The context that that issue has in our lives and it’s relativity to other things causes all the heart ache, drama and suffering.

The reality is we have issues every day and we get through them.  

How do we know that?  Well you’re here aren’t you?  You’ve solved a zillion issues and challenges so far right?  And….you’re about to do it again.  In fact, every time there is an issue in your life…who’s always the person there….yes….you!  And every time your issues get solved, who’s always the person there?  Yes, you!

Issues and challenges cause us to suffer because we look at them like issues and daunting problems.  We believe in that moment that they have more power over us, than we have over them.  But it’s not true!

What if we changed the context of our issues and saw them as a part of life that gave us the opportunity to solve things, grow, be creative, find answers, discover, invent, and find outrageous out of the ordinary solutions!  That …could even be fun, right?

So problems have a CONTEXT.  When the context is bad, wrong or we don’t want it…it causes suffering.  When the context is turned around into another view…we gain insight, growth, momentum and solutions.

Let’s face it, this is the LEARNING PLANET.  

Nobody takes the ride of life without issues, challenges and great problems to solve. In the interest of being powerful with our problems, lets call them growth opportunities and when it’s all going to shit, lets turn it into SHIFT!  Ok how do we do that?

Let’s take money issues as an example.  

If you keep having the same money issues over and over, then likely the “SHIFT” is knocking to come in!  Repeating patterns are a sign….IT”S TIME TO ANSWER THE DOOR!

When you answer the door of new opportunity, look at it from many views.  

• Is this door a new avenue?  

• Is it a new opportunity?  

• Is there a partnership opportunity here?  

• How about an alliance?  

• How about a new coach or mentor needed?  

• How about a finance solution from a banker?  

• How about a meditation trip that takes you to a whole other view point?  

• How about a good chat with a mentor?  

• How about a mind map?  

• How about a focus group?  

• How about a team solution meeting? 

• How about a great BRAINSTORMING SESSION to sift through all the possibilities.

Your issues and problems show up for a reason.  

They call you to be bigger, to think bigger and to act bigger than you ever have before.  They request a sense of intuition, creativity and vision, to come into play.  They often force you to face your fears and get off the comfy chair.  They push you into greatness and they often require blind faith.

Did you ever notice that when you are taking definitive action and you’re getting new results it’s really fun!  Did you notice that when you play a big game, you may make a few mistakes along the way but it’s super exciting?  Did you ever notice that people in general are blaze and boring doing the same old stuff and super passionate when they are out there on the edge of their game?  

Why is that?

It’s because life is about solving problems, playing bigger games and creating a whole new set of results.  When that’s the context for your issues, that’s when SHIFT HAPPENS.  In the process of creative problem solving, you get wildly excited, you get moved by passion and you get momentum in your results.

Issues are your portal to greatness.  

So all I can say is….LET THE SHIFT HIT THE FAN!

transformwithtina.com

How Do You Reach Your True Potential?

by Tina Olivero -

Now that’s a big question! 

Here’s the not-so-big answer: you go where you wouldn’t go before.

Reaching your true potential is the action of facing your fears and moving to a new threshold. You move in empowering ways rather than moving in disempowering directions. Empowering ways create an empowered self. Creating an empowered self, is a very loving thing to do and it takes courage! Self love is an act of self worth. 

Self worth is the basis of your Self Esteem or who you consider yourself to be in the world.

How do you create self esteem? 

Well here’s a surprise – self esteem is a verb… you take action! You go beyond where you wouldn’t go before… in the face of your fears. The reason we haven’t gone there before is because of our fear! How debilitating can fear be? It can be as debilitating as we let it…

For example when someone expresses fears, it’s tempting to follow them down the rabbit hole and get lost in the useless world of “what ifs”.

If we do get someone to “partner with” our fears, we are actually gathering evidence to keep us stuck… then… a little stuck-ness may blossom into a full-blown drama-fest with the help of your fear-partner. 

Did you ever do that? 

Get so caught up in a conversation about the “what ifs” that you actually supported each other in something with no basis in reality. People who comfort each other in fear do not serve each other! Most of what we fear never comes true!

It’s important to remember that fear is:

1. A normal response to personal growth and a necessary learning tool.
2. Not reality based in most circumstances.
3. A gateway into meaningful change.
4. Your best teacher.

Common fears sound like this:

• What if I’m not a good at it?
• What if it doesn’t go the way I want it to? I can’t do it.
• What if they don’t like me?
• What if they don’t buy it?
• I’m afraid to market my services.
• Perhaps I’m not good enough!
• What if something goes wrong?
• They won’t give me their time.

While these fears are normal, they do not serve us. If they are given credence and we allow them to disempower us, they can put an end to our goals and dreams. 

So, how do we deal with fear? 

We can create a method or structure that will provide us with the “path to our empowered selves.” The path that provides us with a way to move through fear! 

Try this:

• Acknowledge that the fear is real for you with a brief compassionate comment like, “I know it can be scary to go after my dreams… ok, so it’s scary at times. So what!” Whatever that fear is. Acknowledging fear will take the charge out of it.Denial of fear is simply the same fear, stuffed down into a less noticeable place. (It’s not really less noticeable… we just try to trick ourselves into thinking that it is.) Fear may also be denied by creating disempowering and limiting thoughts (thought addictions), or by using something to cover it up (substance addictions). If this happens, recognize the addictive thoughts and substances as your teacher in, “How I keep fear alive with my denial.”

• Simply recognize your fears as limiting beliefs. Then make a distinct choice in the other direction by choosing empowering thoughts. For example, “When I create this, what will it make available for my life, others, the world?” Or, “Why would I want to do this in the first place? Is it my dream/purpose/self expression. If so… What else matters?”

• Always keep your eye on the outcome you want to create. When you look into the past that’s what you create. You create what you focus on. If the past comes up, and you find it sitting out there as anxiety about “what ifs” for the future, then recognize it as illusion, laugh at it and move on. Become the watcher of your fears/thoughts. Let them glide by like a cloud in the sky. You are not your thoughts.

• Create measurable specific steps that will incrementally move yourself toward your goals and your desired outcomes. Get creative. Have fun! Make it your personal game!

• Get a box full of tools to manage your fears. Consider keeping a journal of your fears. Next to each fear write down the action you’ve taken, despite the fear. Or look in the mirror and tell yourself each day… “This is what I created today. This is who I am, in spite of my fears!”

• Recognize comfort as your enemy. Comfort kills possibility. When you are feeling uncomfortable as you move to the next phase of your dream/goal… Rejoice… you are headed in the right direction. Be willing to get uncomfortable!

• Get a coach, partner, buddy, or all three, who will always keep you above your fear and support you on the high road, to your highest good, your dreams fulfilled and your greatest self.

That’s some of the many ways to reach your true potential! I hope they find a way into your world, your dreams and your possibilities!

transformwithtina.com 

What is the Ego?

 by Tina Olivero -

 It’s a really great question.

The earliest definitions of the ego date back to when we lived in survival, hunting and gathering days.  It was said that the ego was a protection mechanism that kept us alive in times of danger and confrontation.  

It was the ego that would protect us and create our identities as human beings – those who needed to live, be superior to other animals, stay away from things that made us ill, dress and keep warm and basically ensure the survival of the body we are in.  The ego is what differentiated us from the spirit.

Sigmund Freud became famous by explaining the ego in psychological terms – the Id, ego and super ego.  Freud explained the ID is the set of uncoordinated instinctual trends and the Super EGO as the part of us that does critical thinking and moralizing of right and wrong, whereas the ego is the organized, realistic part that mediates between the desires of the id and the super ego.

In the 1970′s the definition of the ego was the “macho, cool, self centered, hot guy in school, who thought he was all that.”

Just like people, words evolve and the word ego has evolved to reflect the current level of understanding and consciousness around the world.

For purposes of greater self understanding, the ego is now defined by Tina Olivero as our “Human-ness”  in other words, one part of two – “Human” and “Being”.  

This is the era of duality.  

We now understand Human Being as two distinct entities.  Our human-ness and our being-ness.  Together they make a human being.

HUMAN (EGO)

Our ego selves or  HUMAN personality is what has us make mistakes, take a road of disempowerment, self sabotage, suffer, be resistant, be stubborn, be confined, be confused, be disempowered, be the victim, blame others, feel powerless, take on addictions, relies on physical senses or eyes, ears, smell, touch, and so on.

BEING (HIGHER SELF)

The BEING personality is the opposite of our humaness, thus causing our dual nature.  BEING can be described as our presence, our place of empowerment, positive energy, higher position, evolved or spiritual way, is love, willing, growth, contribution, freedom, self expression, creativity, creates unity and understanding, utilizes unseen senses such as heart, intuition, feelings, etc.

THE DUALITY OF OUR NATURE

The duality of our nature as 1.humans and 2. beings means that human beings have a lot of variation and experience within their personalities.  So much so that it may seem like there’s more than one person in there.  That’s because of our dualistic nature.  

Human beings have the ego and the higher self specifically to create an entire range of emotions, feelings and experiences that make life very interesting.

To play fully on the court of life is to deeply explore both sides of ourselves.  

To understand who we are and who we are not.  And every time we have a clearer understanding or “aha” realization – in that moment we gain access to our higher selves.  

It’s actually the disempowered ego that gives rise to the higher self, our growth and evolution into a more conscious way of “BEING”.

There’s no right or wrong, no good or bad. The ego is an essential part of our “growth” which is required on this learning planet.  Yes that’s right, this is the learning planet and we can either embrace our growth and learning or we can resist it.  

When we resist it…that’s the ego.  

The emotion associated with resistance is suffering – EVERY TIME!

OK now that we understand that, then it’s simply an egoic understanding and awareness that will allow us to surrender that ego and move into the higher self.   It might look like giving up being right or being coachable or being loving or taking the high road or moving out of drama, or taking responsibility for the outcome, or shifting to an empowering view.   

The actual SHIFTING is an experience like no other.  It’s beautiful and when we do it, we realize profoundly that we can find beauty in the toughest of places.  It’s all good.

The quickest way to deal with your ego:

1.  Notice you are disempowered by feelings of anger, dispair, low energy, grief, guilt, jealousy or any other low emotion. 

2.  Ask where is my ego in this and what’s the higher spiritual solution requesting to come in?  Where do I need to take responsibility for this?  Where do I need to surrender my own ego?  Where am I playing small?  Where am I being the victim? What’s the solution here?  What are the range of possibilities? 

3. Knowing that everything that happens in your life is for YOUR growth and learning …. realize, learn, grow and get your AHA transformation. 

4.  See it, GET IT and adapt a new way of living and BEING. 

5.  Experience happiness, freedom, power and full self expression as a direct RESULT of doing this work.

THANK YOU EGO!  WE LOVE YOU!

To learn more about Transformational Training for Personal and Professional Mastery – Please contact: Coach and Seminar Leader, Ms. Tina Olivero at...

transformwithtina.com 

Virtues, Values and Vision

by Tina Olivero -

The Crossroads of Decision:

Making a decision can be a daunting process for so many people.  We spend a lot of time sweating over the possible outcomes.

• What if we fail?  
• What if things don’t  go exactly as planned.  
• What if we don’t have enough time or money? 
• What if it’s too much work?  
• What if I have to do more?  
• What if it interrupts my current life? 
• What if it doesn’t go my way?  
• What if I get trapped in it?  
• What if, what if, what if….

What’s worse than all that anxiety of making a decision, is that we put all our “so called past failures” and bad experiences into that mix and heap it all into a pile of worry and stress about the future.

We do this believing that we are making a true decision.  That we are acting with all things considered.  But are we?    

What would happen if we had no bad memories of the past?  Would that influence our decisions?  Would it create clarity?  More freedom in choice?

What would happen if our fears of the future were not in the picture? 

That’s right when you heap the past experiences and the future fears into the equation, there’s really no place to make a TRUE decision. 

Rather it’s a decision with a bunch of unsubstantiated concerns.

I’d like to take the anxiety right out of decision making and reduce the levels of stress, drama and suffering associated with the crossroads of decision.

POINTS TO CONSIDER:

1. First distinguish what your CONCERNS are.  

Write them down. Once articulated ask yourself is this a legitimate concern or a manufactured concern from past experiences and future anxieties;

If you’re not sure, share with a coach or friend or mentor.  Outsiders can assist. Once you have your legitimate concerns list, ask yourself which direction to go from that vantage point.

2.  Take five minutes to go to the very end.

Envision what would happen if you didn’t make it and it failed.  Would you die?   Would you’re ego be wounded? Or would you simply move on an do something else?

Yes that’s right, it’s never the actual event thats the issue its usually an egoic issue having to do with “looking good and not failing” or producing an uncomfortable outcome, or having to deal with the fall out of it not working.

Once you reconcile with it and realize…you’d simply go do something else, it’s power dissipates and you can more easily and quickly make your decision and move into action.

3. Consider the following when making  your decision:

a. Is this in alignment with my goal?
b. Does this fit into my picture of personal values and virtues?
c. Does this allow me to be creative, grow and be a contribution?
d. Will this further me in a way that is in alignment with who I am?
e. Will taking this path mean a fun, interesting and exciting journey to unfold?

We can agonize about the decisions we make in life or we can take 10 minutes and go through the process of looking and learning about ourselves.  

It doesn’t have to take long but it’s a “considerate approach” that ensures your decision is in alignment with your vision, virtues and values.  

When decisions are in alignment with our vision, virtues and values, no matter the outcome the journey is awesome and things tend to work out as it’s in alignment with your highest energy!

transformwithtina.com

Two Life Transforming Questions

by Tina Olivero -

You can only transform an emotion by experiencing the emotion that you wish to transform. 

• If you DENY the emotion or 
• PROJECT the emotion onto another person or 
• if you EAT to numb the emotion or 
• if you DRINK to hide the emotion or 
• if you SMOKE to avoid the emotion or 
• if you use SEX to numb the emotion or 
• if you GAMBLE to avoid the emotion or 
• if you WORK EXCESSIVELY to hide the emotion or 
• if you spend all your time on the phone, watching TV or on the INTERNET to avoid the emotion ...

THEN... you never get the chance to BE IN THE EMOTION. 

So if your life is running in cycles and you keep bumping up against the same "stuff", ask yourself these TWO LIFE TRANSFORMING QUESTIONS:

1. What am I using to cover up my emotions?
2. What do I need to feel in order to heal?

On the other side of every breakdown is a BREAKTHROUGH. It's not that we don't want to change but rather we are afraid to breakdown. 

Just let go and let God work his magic. FEEL the emotion that is there.

You are designed to FEEL your emotions as they are exquisitely designed to guide you to all you need to know. 

As you experience the emotion, you may be uncomfortable to say the least. But it's worth it. 

You can take consolation in knowing that there is a miracle taking place....AND it is waiting for you on the other side.

transformwithtina.com