When the Energy is Right

by Cheryl Richardson -

"Move when the energy moves you."

Several years ago my friend Max said this to me when I was complaining about needing to get my butt in the office to clear my desk. I was in no mood to work, yet I felt so emotionally badgered by the piles on my desk that I was desperate to get them handled so I could stop thinking about it and relax.

Max suggested that rather than force myself to do something my body and mind clearly wasn't ready to do I should honor my own natural flow of energy. Her prescription was simple: "If you have the energy to do something, do it. If you don't, don't do it." '

Sounds great, I said but what about the nagging voices in my head that tell me I have to get things done first?

"Ah, you see, this isn't about your to-do list or your cluttered desk" she said. "This is about your mind. You need to learn to manage your mind by telling it to rest while you wait for the energy you need to get a task completed." (I was starting to feel a little like grasshopper ☺)

"If you move with the energy rather than against it," she continued, "you'll not only be happier, you'll get more done in less time. But remember, you have to be brave enough to challenge the voices in your head that tell you you're shirking your responsibilities or that if you wait too long, the energy may never come."

I'd always had a tough time letting myself enjoy life until my work was all done. And "work" could mean anything - the last dish had to be put in the dishwasher, the laundry needed to be washed and dried, or my office paperwork had to be all filed away.

Like so many of us, I was seduced by the myth that if I could just get everything done, I'd finally be able to relax. Not anymore, thanks to Max.

When the Energy is Right 

That conversation long ago shifted the way I live my life. Rather than force myself to do anything, I do my best to wait for the energy - the motivation or desire - to get the task done. 

When I can, I never push myself to do something I don't want to do. Instead I trust that when the energy is right, it will happen. And it's never let me down.

As a matter of fact, by doing things like sitting once a week and responding to most of my emails rather than disrupting my day and replying as they come in, I not only get to enjoy my life, I'm far more productive.

When I finally have the energy to reply, I not only get them done in a short amount of time, my responses are better. Or, when I let my inbox fill a bit more than normal because I don't feel like sitting at my desk, I easily plow through the paperwork when the energy is right. I've been amazed to see work done in two hours that used to take eight.

You can easily begin to apply this principle to what you do at home but what about at work? Being self-employed affords me the ability to more easily follow my own natural rhythms. It's one of the things I love most about owning my own company.

It can also work when you work for someone else. Rather than beat yourself into submission to get an expense report finished, for instance, why not do something else while holding the intention that you'll get the report done as soon as you have the energy?

Then, simply go about completing other tasks while waiting for the motivation to complete the report. The energy might come in an hour, later in the afternoon, or the following week, but it will come.

As a matter of fact, your willingness to practice this technique will not only give you the evidence you need to trust it, you'll probably find the motivation sooner rather than later when you stop pushing yourself.

So, are you ready to try a new way of being in the world? 

It's a great way to start a new year. The next time you catch yourself pushing your body to do something you don't want to do, stop. Tell your mind to relax and wait for the energy. Give it time and you won't be disappointed. Before you know it, you'll move when the energy moves you, too!

Take Action Challenge

This week, become aware of when you push against yourself and your natural flow of energy.

As you start your day, ask yourself whether or not you have the desire to do what you're about to do. If it feels like a "yes," go for it. If not, wait. Challenge yourself to gather evidence that when the energy is right, it's the right time to act.

cherylrichardson.com

Surviving a Dry Spell

by Cheryl Richardson -

A dry spell is a period of time when progress comes to a grinding halt. If you're trying to lose weight for example, it may be that despite your best efforts the scale just won't budge. Or, if you're trying to find a new job, the phone might stop ringing and it may suddenly feel as though no one is hiring in your field. During this period, you're likely to feel frustrated and discouraged.

As a result, it's common to do one of two things -- try harder (to no avail), or give up. This is also the time when self-doubt rears its ugly head.

During a dry spell, you'll probably begin to question yourself and your goals.

For example, if you're involved in a job search, you might start second-guessing your credentials, doubting your skills, or questioning your direction altogether. Or, if you're trying to lose weight, you may lose your motivation and go back to the erroneous belief that your stalled progress is related to a lack of discipline.

The biggest challenge during a dry spell is to be patient -- to sit back, take a deep breath and know that despite what appears to be "the end of the road," over the horizon is a path that will lead where you most need to go.

Whenever we decide to make a major change in our lives, it's important to know that along with taking new actions, we also may need to let go of some things in order to welcome in new experiences.

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come." --Joseph Campbell

While it's certainly true that a period of stagnancy or inertia sometimes means that we just need to have faith that we're on the right track, other times, it may mean something more.

It may be that you need to loosen your grip and let go of something -- an old habit, an outdated belief, or a strategy that doesn't serve you anymore. Sometimes this letting go is more tangible like ending an unsupportive relationship to set the stage for becoming the "new you." 

Other times it might be that you need to let go of an unrealistic expectation. I remember one friend who realized this when she reached a weight loss plateau and had to give up the fantasy that her body would ever look like something out of a fashion magazine. Only then could she continue without sabotaging her success.

The moral of this story is: 

Don't lose hope! A dry spell may be exactly what you need to re-evaluate your progress so you can redirect the course of your life.

To help you use a dry spell as a catalyst for success, answer the following question:

What do I need to let go of in order to welcome in the new life I desire?

Then, pay attention to what immediately comes to mind. Listen with your heart (not your head) and write down the answers regardless of how strange or unexpected they may be. Once you do, sit with this information for a while before taking action. Then, proceed with a patient heart.

When you understand that dry spells are merely speed bumps on the road to a great life, you'll begin to see them as gifts -- a reminder to slow down so you can get your bearings, reevaluate your plans and slowly shed the old you to make way for the new!

cherylrichardson.com

Holiday Self-Care

by Cheryl Richardson -

Well, it's the time of year when I usually share a few holiday self-care reminders to support you in taking good care of yourself over the next few weeks so you enter the New Year feeling good about yourself.

Because the holidays are a time when many of us attend parties and family gatherings, it's also the time of year when we tend to overindulge with the intention of making up for it in January. Then, New Year's Day rolls around and we start beating ourselves up for letting our health go - a horrible way to celebrate a new beginning.

A few things to remember this holiday season:

1. Get connected instead of fat.

When attending social gatherings, spend more time using your mouth for meaningful discussions than unconscious eating - something we tend to do when we feel bored, empty, or frustrated. For example, rather than stand around the food table munching like crazy as you listen to a co-worker talk about her latest crisis, find one person you really like, sit down and have a heartfelt conversation.

To generate this meaningful exchange, you might ask:

• What's your favorite holiday memory?
• Have you seen any movies or read any books that were particularly meaningful or thought provoking this year?
• Have any big plans for the new year?

I'm always pleasantly surprised by how open and receptive people are to having intimate, deeper conversations in a quiet corner. Try it with at least one person and I'm sure you'll be surprised, too.

2. Move now not later. 

Why not begin an exercise program during the holidays? (Now there's an unusual concept). Bundle up and go for a walk after a meal, join the gym now before the New Year rush, or take a fun fitness class. How about doing something new like snow shoeing or learning to surf? You might even gather the family together for a stroll around the neighborhood to look at holiday lights. Remember, your body needs fresh air and sunshine just as much as food and water.

3. Get the good stuff first. 

When attending parties, start your meals with some kind of salad or vegetable dish along with a small amount of protein so you have less room for the empty calories found in tempting cookies, cakes, candy or bread. When you fill up on the good stuff, you're bound to leave a party feeling clear-headed and strong.

4. Drink plenty of water.

If the weather is cold and dry where you are, you'll need to be more conscious of staying hydrated. Remember, when you feel thirsty, it's an indication that you're already dehydrated. Bring a bottle of water with you wherever you go, and remember that alcohol, soft drinks, coffee, and tea are not hydrating liquids - they actually deplete your body of water.

5. Just say no.

Be willing to avoid parties or gatherings that leave you feeling empty inside. Choosing to disappoint someone else may be just what you need to do to make sure you don't disappoint yourself. Gently let family and friends know that you feel the need to sit this one out. Don't defend, overexplain, or debate your decision. Simply be gracious and firm. Your soul-care is always a valid excuse.

Most importantly this season, reach out to someone who could use your love. Look for those who've experienced some kind of loss, are healing from an illness, or just tend to be (or feel) alone during the holidays. If they say they need to avoid the holidays altogether, please support their decision. I know what it's like to feel even worse because of "holiday expectations."

Allow others to be where they are by offering your unconditional love. After all, there's nothing like putting the focus on someone else's heart to keep us away from the self-indulgent actions that set us up for trouble later on.

Relax and have fun over the next couple of weeks by practicing smart holiday self care. It's the perfect way to make your memories count!

Take Action Challenge 

Make one change this holiday season so you'll feel better about yourself in 2010. Eat before going to a party so you don't overdo it or limit your alcohol consumption to one drink. Cancel a party that you'd rather avoid and invite a couple of close friends to dinner. Stay awake so you can experience what it means to have a "happy" holiday.

cherylrichardson.com

Believing in Your Soul Desires

by Cheryl Richardson -

Ask for what you want:

A couple of weeks ago I had a conversation with my friend Melanie, who had given birth to a baby girl a few months earlier and was now nervous about going back to work. Like so many new moms, she couldn't imagine leaving her baby with someone else.

Melanie is a communications executive with a company in the Midwest. She's been with them for more than seven years and has enjoyed a fruitful career. Because her work includes the extensive use of technology, I suggested she negotiate with her boss to work part time from home.

While Melanie had already considered this option, she, like so many people who think about asking for what they really, really want, could see all the reasons why her employer might not go along with the idea.

While I could certainly understand her hesitation given the current economy, I also know from experience that when we take steps to honor our soul, a Divine Power rallies to support our highest and best interest whether we get what we want or not.

As we explored the idea, one of the first questions I asked Melanie was about her "success history." I wanted to hear about her accomplishments so I could determine whether or not she was well respected and valued at the company. She was. Her work history showed that Melanie took her job seriously and that her track record would support her request.

Next, Melanie set herself up to succeed by developing a smart, well-thought-out plan. 

She gathered research about the number of employees in her field who had successfully made the shift to at-home work; she identified the activities that could be completed from a home office; she considered the logistics - how she would make the transition and how she would inform others; and most important, she put together a list of benefits to the company and a weekly "accountability report" that would assure her boss that work was getting done.

Finally, rather than wait until she started back at work to talk with her boss (her original plan), I suggested that she introduce the idea right away by scheduling a special in-person meeting before she started back to work. Melanie immediately scheduled the meeting.

This week, I received a call from Melanie telling me that her plan was met with success! She did, in fact, make arrangements to work from home two days a week. As I hung up the phone, I smiled to myself and thought about how Melanie fits the profile of the kind of clients who seem to get what they want out of life more often than not.

Here's what I experienced:

1. She had the courage to believe she could have what her soul really wanted.

2. She was willing to do whatever it took to help make it happen.

3. She was open to feedback and support instead of relying exclusively on her own ideas.

4. She was proactive and committed. Once she knew what needed to be done, she took action immediately and continued to follow through in a timely manner until the job was done.

How about you? Is there something your soul really, really wants? If so, let Melanie be your inspiration this week. Follow her lead and let a Divine Power rally behind you, too!

Take Action Challenge

Is there something you really want that you've been too nervous or afraid to ask for? 

How about taking a page from Melanie's book and doing what it takes to help make it happen this week? Follow the steps above, let go of the end result and have faith that the highest and best outcome will occur.


cherylrichardson.com

Moving Mountains

by Cheryl Richardson -

A simple act can change a life forever in a moment 

This morning I watched a recorded segment from an Oprah Show that told the story of a woman, Angela, who prayed with a young man who attempted to rob her at gunpoint while she worked behind the counter in her office. I imagine many of you may have heard about the story.

Out of fear and desperation, she begged the man to spare her life and then started praying out loud asking to be protected. She told him,

"You're too young to do this. Don't throw away your precious life. You don't look like a person who would want to hurt someone." 

The young man insisted that he had no choice because his family was about to be evicted from their home. He didn't know what else to do.

Eventually, as the woman continued to talk with him, the man dropped to his knees, began to cry and asked her to pray with him. And she did. Shortly after he gave her the bullet from the gun and said,

"No one's ever talked to me like this."

It was that line that stayed with me long after the story was over. As it turns out, the young man was depressed, had attempted suicide in the past and was now feeling enormous pressure to provide for his fiance and young child without believing he had the ability to do so (and given his state of mind, he didn't).

ONE SIMPLY ACT OF LOVE

One simple act of love from a woman who reinforced the preciousness of his life was what he needed to see a different way. Later in the evening he turned himself in and is awaiting a hearing. It is my hope that he gets counseling and guidance and a chance to help others with a lengthy community service project that will teach him a new trade.

When times are tough and life feels dire, solutions and help can seem so far away, completely unavailable or overwhelming at best. More times than not the opening to grace begins with an act of love - a willingness to listen rather than criticize, a prayer of forgiveness, an affirming statement that reminds a young woman of her inherent goodness or an offer of support that sets a dad on a better path.

Today I vow to remember this. 

In my life I've been witness to the fact that a simple act of love contains a kind of power that goes beyond what the human mind can comprehend. 

It can shift consciousness in an instant and change a life forever. As I go about my week, I intend to smile at strangers more, look for opportunities to speak an encouraging word, or offer a prayer of hope for someone in need. I invite you to join me.




Take Action Challenge

Imagine that within your heart lies a powerful force that can move mountains. 

• Your loving thoughts can heal. 
• Your loving words can calm a worried soul.   
• Your loving actions can do more good than you may ever know. 

Affirm your willingness to use this power for good in the world. Then, invite opportunities to come to you and keep your eyes open.

cherylrichardson.com

Surviving a Dry Spell

by Cheryl Richardson -

A dry spell is a period of time when progress comes to a grinding halt. If you're trying to lose weight, for example, it may be that, despite your best efforts, the scale just won't budge. Or, if you're trying to find a new job, the phone might stop ringing and it may suddenly feel as though no one is hiring in your field.

 During this period, you're likely to feel frustrated and discouraged. And, as a result, it's common to do one of two things -- try harder (to no avail), or give up. This is also the time when self-doubt rears its ugly head.

"When flowing water meets with obstacles on its path, a blockage in its journey, it pauses as it increases in volume and strength, filling up in front of the obstacle and eventually spilling past it..." --I Ching

During a dry spell, you'll probably begin to question yourself and your goals.

 For example, if you're involved in a job search, you might start second-guessing your credentials, doubting your skills, or questioning your direction altogether. Or, if you're trying to lose weight, you may lose your motivation and go back to the erroneous belief that your stalled progress is related to a lack of discipline.

 The biggest challenge during a dry spell is to be patient -- to sit back, take a deep breath, and know that despite what appears to be "the end of the road," over the horizon is a path that will lead where you most need to go.

Whenever we decide to make a major change in our lives, it's important to know that along with taking new actions, we also may need to let go of some things in order to welcome in new experiences. Joseph Campbell said it well:

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come. "

While it's certainly true that a period of stagnancy or inertia sometimes means that we just need to have faith that we're on the right track, other times, it may mean something more.

 It may be that you need to loosen your grip and let go of something -- an old habit, an outdated belief, or a strategy that doesn't serve you anymore. 

 Sometimes this letting go is more tangible like ending an unsupportive relationship to set the stage for becoming the "new you." And other times it might be that you need to let go of an unrealistic expectation.

 I remember one friend who realized this when she reached a weight loss plateau and had to give up the fantasy that her body would ever look like something out of a fashion magazine. Only then could she continue without sabotaging her success.

The moral of this story is: don't lose hope! A dry spell may be exactly what you need to re-evaluate your progress so you can redirect the course of your life. To help you use a dry spell as a catalyst for success, answer the following question: 

What do I need to let go of in order to welcome in the new life I desire?

Then, pay attention to what immediately comes to mind. Listen with your heart (not your head) and write down the answers regardless of how strange or unexpected they may be.

 Once you do, sit with this information for a while before taking action. Then, proceed with a patient heart. 

When you understand that dry spells are merely speed bumps on the road to a great life, you'll begin to see them as gifts -- a reminder to slow down so you can get your bearings, reevaluate your plans and slowly shed the old you to make way for the new!

cherylrichardson.com