Solutions to Overcoming Obstacles

by Leo Babauta -

After working on my procrastination, mindfulness and productivity habits for the last 9 years, I’ve gotten much better at doing and accomplishing.

Today I sent out the digital editions of my book to Kickstarter backers, for example, while working on a 13-person coaching program, a habits membership program that has several thousand readers, writing a guide on mindfulness, preparing for several webinars and of course writing this post.

One task at a time, but lots getting done.

And yet … I still have things that get in the way of my doing. Some of them I’m OK with but nonetheless I thought I’d share what I’ve learned about the things that get in our way.

Obstacles to Doing and Some Solutions

This list isn’t complete but just some ideas to get you thinking:

• Online distractions. 

This is a big one for me. I can go to my favorite online sites (just a quick check) and get lost for an hour or two. Or more if I hit on something that really fascinates me. 

What has worked for me: 

To overcome this, I try to remember to pause … and often get up and walk around, and realize that I’ve gotten lost again.

Then I’ll clear my screen and just have one thing in front of me, and try to stick with that until I’m done. I don’t always succeed, but when I remember to do this it works very well.

• Being overwhelmed. 

If you have a crapton of things to do … it can make you feel helpless. How can you possibly get it all done? So you don’t even start. You can’t get it all done … at least, not right now. 

What has worked for me: 

Right now, you can do one thing. So when I’m overwhelmed, again, I’ll clear everything, and make a list of 1-3 things I need to do most right now. Yes, sometimes the list is just one thing, because that helps me focus and not feel overwhelmed.

• Email is piled up. 

When my email inbox has a lot of messages piled up, it can feel overwhelming. 

What has worked for me: 

I use Google Inbox or Mailbox, and just snooze a bunch of things I don’t need to worry about right now.

Then I’ll deal with as many of the others as possible, and leave some to deal with later. Instead, I close email and get to work on a more important task.

• Feeling indecisive. 

What if you have so many things you can’t figure out what to do? Often, that leads to doing nothing.

I remind myself that not deciding leads to stagnation, and while I don’t believe you need to move at a million miles an hour, I don’t like myself held stagnant by fear. 

What I’ve learned is that this is a fear of not knowing the perfect decision, because we don’t know what the future will hold. Is it better to take that new job or keep this one? Is it better to work on this project or that one? It’s impossible to know, because the future is uncertain. 

What has worked for me: 

I try to just pick one based on whatever information I have (usually a gut decision) and take some action. It’s better to work on something than to stop moving because of fear of uncertainty.

• No energy. 

This is a huge one, bigger than most people realize. When you have a lack of sleep, you are low on energy and you just don’t feel like working on anything hard. You can’t focus and you have a hard time pushing through. 

What has worked for me: 

Either I give myself a break but really focus on getting to bed earlier and getting some good sleep … or I push through and do the hard stuff. Just because we don’t feel like doing something hard doesn’t mean we should skip it.

• Lack of discipline. 

This is usually the result of low energy, or being in fast mode and not wanting to stop to focus on something. You tell yourself you’re going to do something, but then you don’t. 

What has worked for me: 

I forgive myself for messing up, and instead I try to be mindful about what’s going on. Am I tired? In fast mode? Not inspired by this project? Instead of the general “I lack discipline” diagnosis, I try to find a more specific problem, and then address it. And then get to work.

• Task switching. 

Again, being in fast mode means that you’re doing lots of little tasks, constantly switching between apps and tabs in your browser. You can’t stick to one because you’re constantly switching. 

What has worked for me: 

Again, I will take a break and then clear everything and refocus myself. I try to stick to the one window mode (close everything else) and just focus on one thing for as long as I can. I’m not always successful.

• Getting little things done. 

We feel productive when we’re taking care of lots of little tasks (emails, calls, errands, small admin tasks, paperwork), but while those do need to get done, they aren’t the important things. We’re avoiding the important things but we feel productive because we’re busy. 

What has worked for me: 

I fall into this trap a lot, so when I catch myself doing it, I stop and ask myself what my big task is for the day. Sometimes I can’t choose between 2-3 big tasks, but it doesn’t matter … I just need to pick 1-3. Then I ask myself: “Am I working on it?” If the answer is no, I’m not really being productive — I just feel like it.

• Task seems too big. 

We all fall into this one, and we all know the answer. It’s too big, so we put it off. The answer, of course, is to break it into smaller tasks, but we rarely follow this advice. 

What has worked for me: 

I focus all of my energy into starting. All I have to do is write the first few words. Once I do that, I focus on the next few paragraph. One bite at a time.

• We’re afraid we’ll fail. 

We also all have this problem — we don’t feel competent at this task, it’s confusing, it feels like we’ll embarrass ourselves. And this is understandable when we’re doing something that’s not in our wheelhouse. 

What has worked for me: 

I remind myself that letting myself be controlled by fear is not the way I want to live. I remind myself that failure is actually not the worst outcome — not even trying is a much worse outcome. Why? Because if you try something and fail, you learned something, you got some practice, and next time you’ll be better. 

You’re further along than before. But if you don’t even try, out of fear, you don’t learn anything, and you’ll probably keep doing this because you’re creating a pattern of running from fear.

Instead, push through and do it anyway, because the value of doing is so much greater than the value of being safe and doing nothing.

What obstacles get in your way? 

How can you get better at dealing with them? 

How can you get to doing?

zenhabits.net

32 Ways to Make Someone Smile

by Leo Babauta -

Just thought I’d give all of you a nice list of things to think about. 

This isn’t an in-depth post but more of a thought for the day — is there someone you’d like to make happy today? 

Making others happy is one of the best ways to have a great day yourself. It can brighten the world around you.

This list is just to spark some ideas and please note that not every item on this list is appropriate for every person in your life. I trust you to figure out which actions go with which people.

Leo Babauta

Make someone happy today!

Smile.

Help them carry something.

Send a thank-you email.

Call just to see how they’re doing.

Pick them flowers.

Cook them a nice meal.

Tell a joke and laugh your butts off.

Clean.

Write a love letter to a loved one.

Give them a cherished book.

Bake cookies.

Praise them publicly.

Thank them for a job well done.

Listen.

Be there when they’re in need.

Give a free hug.

Spend time with them, having fun.

Do errands or chores for them.

Say I love you.

Help them get ahead. 

Be proud of them.

Babysit if they need it.

House sit if they need it.

Buy them movie tickets.

Create a care package.

Coffee. Mmmm. 

List the things you love about them.

Secretly leave them thank you notes.

Give a back rub when appropriate.

Deliver a nice lunch to them when they’re having a rough day.

Love them, completely.

Be happy yourself.

Any ideas on how to make people happy? 

Add them in the comments!

zenhabits.net

goodmenproject.com

Being in the Moment

by Leo Babauta - 

How often have you eaten a meal and not really tasted it or completed a chore or drove to work without really thinking about it? Our days often pass us by while our minds are elsewhere.

"Normally, we do not so much

look at things as overlook them."

—Alan Watts

One of my favorite methods of finding happiness and preventing stress is living in the moment — also known as mindfulness. It’s one of the foundations of Zen Buddhism, of course, (actually all Buddhism, I believe) but it’s not necessarily meditation, per se — it’s more being aware of your actions and thoughts and what your senses bring in, in your every day routine.

No one actually lives in the moment all the time — I don’t think it’s possible. Some, with practice, can learn to live in the moment for longer than most of us but there will always be times when you’re worried about the future or thinking about the past and forget to be in the moment. It’s actually pretty hard, if you give it a try.

Test it out right now: close your eyes (after reading these instructions first), and concentrate on your breathing — the sensation of the air as it enters your nose or mouth and fills your lungs, and as it goes out again.

If other thoughts come up, be aware of them, acknowledge them, let them go (but don’t try to force them away) and then return your focus to your breathing. It’s hard, isn’t it? Being in the moment isn’t as easy as it sounds. It takes practice. But it can be achieved.

To help inspire you to live in the moment...

Here are 5 great examples:

• Children - There’s no one better at being present than a child. I love to watch my three-year-old son, Seth, as he plays. He’s not thinking about what happened to him yesterday, or what he’s going to do later today. He’s Spiderman, and he’s fighting the bad guys, and nothing else in the world exists. If he gets mad about something, he overreacts, and nothing else in the world matters but what has upset him. But he’ll cry about it, and then soon return to normal, happy again, the offending situation forgotten without a grudge. He has no cares about tomorrow, and for that, I love to watch him. We need to use children as inspiration, and try to be like them sometimes. Jesus instructed us, “Be as a child,​” and those were wise words.

• Cats - I also like watching my cat, Riddle. He thinks he’s a lion. He’ll stealthily stalk an insect or lizard, as if he’s hidden in tall grass on the savanna, and then he pounces and attacks. You know he’s not thinking about what he had for breakfast or what furniture needs to be clawed to shreds later in the day. Cats (and other animals) are all about the Now. Be like a cat.

• My wife and dessert - My wife Eva really knows how to eat dessert. Actually, of all the people I know, she may be the best at being in the moment, completely. She can really enjoy something, with all of her being. I’ve learned how to eat dessert by watching her — while I tend to gobble something quickly, Eva closes her eyes, and slowly puts a spoon of ice cream in her mouth. She savors the flavor, the texture, the coolness, the sweetness, the chocolateness of it. Eva enjoys things more than most human beings, and she inspires me. The next time you eat something, try not to think about anything else, not to read, not to talk to someone — just experience the food.

• Zen sweeper - It’s been said that the only two jobs of a Zen monk are sitting zazen (meditation) and sweeping. Cleaning is one of the daily rituals of a Zen monk, one of their most important daily practices. They sweep or rake, and they try to do nothing else. They aren’t thinking about being in a Zen state — the Zen state is the sweeping. The next time you’re doing housework (or anything, really), try concentrating on the housework, on the dust, on the motion, on the sensation.

• Yourself, lost in something - You’ve been in the moment plenty of times. Can you remember a time when you lost yourself in a task? Not lost in thought, but lost in the doing of the task itself — you were concentrating fully, you thought of nothing else. The world disappeared. It might have been work — you might have achieved that state of mind known as “flow” — or it could have been a hobby, playing sports, yardwork, fixing something, anything. Try to remember a time like that, and replicate it.

zenhabits.​​net​​

Go With the Flow in 12 Practical Steps

by Leo Babauta -

No matter how much structure we create in our lives, no matter how many good habits we build, there will always be things that we cannot control.

If we let them, these things can be a huge source of anger, frustration and stress.

The simple solution: Learn to go with the flow...

IN 12 PRACTICAL STEPS.

1. Realize that you can’t control everything. 

I think we all know this at some level, but the way we think and act and feel many times contradicts this basic truth.

We don’t control the universe, and yet we seem to wish we could. All the wishful thinking won’t make it so. You can’t even control everything within your own little sphere of influence — you can influence things, but many things are simply out of your control.

There will be things that happen from time to time (someone’s sick, accident happens, phone call comes at 5 a.m. that disrupts things, etc.) that will make you break your routine.

First step is realizing that these things will happen. Not might happen, but will. There are things that we cannot control that will affect every aspect of our lives, and we must must must accept that or we will constantly be frustrated. Meditate on this for awhile.

2. Become aware. 

You can’t change things in your head if you’re not aware of them. You have to become an observer of your thoughts, a self-examiner.

Be aware that you’re becoming upset, so that you can do something about it. It helps to keep tally marks in a little notebook for a week — every time you get upset, put a little tally.

That’s all — just keep tally. And soon, because of that little act, you will become more aware of your anger and frustration.

3. Breathe. 

When you feel yourself getting angry or frustrated, take a deep breath. Take a few. This is an important step that allows you to calm down and do the rest of the things on this list. Practice this by itself and you’ll have come a long way already.

4. Get perspective. 

This always helps me. I get angry over something happening — my car breaks down, my kids ruin my microwave — and then I take a deep breath, and take a step back.

You know how you’re watching a movie and the camera zooms away and you can see much more of the world on the screen than you could before? How it goes from closeup to a larger, panoramic view of things?

That’s what happens in my mind’s eye. I start to zoom away, until I’m pretty far away from things.

Then whatever happened doesn’t seem so important. A week from now, a year from now, this little incident won’t matter a single whit.

No one will care, not even you. So why get upset about it? Just let it go, and soon it won’t be a big deal.

5. Practice. 

It’s important to realize that, just like when you learn any skill, you probably won’t be good at this at first. Who is good when they are first learning to write, or read, or drive? No one I know.

Skills come with practice. So when you first learn to go with the flow, you will mess up. You will stumble and fall. That’s OK — it’s part of the process. Just keep practicing, and you’ll get the hang of it.

6. Baby steps. 

Along the same lines, take things in small steps. Don’t try to become that Zen Master overnight. Don’t try to bite off huge chunks — just bite off something small at first.

So make your first attempts to go with the flow small ones: focus on the tally marks first. Then focus on breathing.

Then try to get perspective after you breathe. And you might try the easier situations first — if your work problems are easier to accept than your frustrations with your kids, for example, start with work.

7. Laugh. 

It helps me to see things as funny, rather than frustrating. Car broke down in the middle of traffic and I have no cell phone or spare tire? Laugh at my own incompetence. Laugh at the absurdity of the situation.

That requires a certain amount of detachment — you can laugh at the situation if you’re above it, but not within it. And that detachment is a good thing.

If you can learn to laugh at things, you’ve come a long way. Try laughing even if you don’t think it’s funny — it will most likely become funny.

8. Keep a journal. 

This is one of the best uses of a journal actually. Once a day, try to recall what all your tally marks were for — and then write about those situations.

• Why did you get upset? 
• What did you try to do? 
• Did it work, and if not, why not? 
• What can you do next time? 

This kind of recollection and examination, after the fact, will help you learn from the process.

9. Meditate. 

If you aren’t good at keeping a journal, at least do a daily review in your head. Do some meditation, or have a bath, or a cup of hot tea, and as you’re de-stressing, go over your day and examine it.

Don’t get frustrated — you’re learning. Do some deep breathing, and then go over each situation, trying to see it as a detached observer. This kind of review will help you improve in the learning process.

10. Realize that you can’t control others. 

Ah, one of the biggest challenges. We get frustrated with other people, because they don’t act the way we want them to act.

Maybe it’s our kids, maybe it’s our spouse or significant other, maybe it’s our coworker or boss, maybe it’s our mom or best friend.

We have to realize that they are acting according to their personality, according to what they feel is right, and they are not going to do what we want all of the time.

We have to accept that. Accept that we can’t control them, accept them for who they are, accept the things they do. It’s not easy but again, it takes practice.

11. Accept change and imperfection. 

When we get things the way we like them, we usually don’t want them to change. But they will change. It’s a fact of life. We cannot keep things the way we want them to be … instead, it’s better to learn to accept things as they are.

Accept that the world is constantly changing, and we are a part of that change. Also, instead of wanting things to be “perfect” (and what is perfect anyway?), we should accept that they will never be perfect, and we must accept good instead.

12. Enjoy life as a flow of change, chaos and beauty. 

Remember when I asked what “perfect” is, in the paragraph above? It’s actually a very interesting question.

Does perfect mean the ideal life and world that we have in our heads? Do we have an ideal that we try to make the world conform to? Because that will likely never happen.

Instead, try seeing the world as perfect the way it is. 

It’s messy, chaotic, painful, sad, dirty … and completely perfect. The world is beautiful, just as it is.

Life is not something static, but a flow of change, never staying the same, always getting messier and more chaotic, always beautiful.

There is beauty in everything around us, if we look at it as perfect.

zenhabits.net