Looking for Love

by Jennifer Hoffman -

What makes us look for the perfect relationship, take on demanding jobs, turn a blind eye to those who are less than respectful to us or a deaf ear to unflattering or hurtful comments?

What is the one thing that we want so desperately that we will tolerate a great deal to receive even a small percentage of it? What is the one thing that if we don’t have it, even in small amounts, we will die--emotionally, spiritually, mentally and even physically?

It is love. 

Not merely the romantic, flowers and candlelight kind of love, but the appreciation and respect that we receive from others that lets us know they value us, we are worthy of their attention and affection, that we are OK. When we distill all of our life efforts, we can find a central theme that appears throughout everything we have ever done, we’re just looking for love.

Love is so often used in the romantic sense that we forget about the many other aspects of love. The love we have, for example, for our friends or people who are close to us. The love we have for our family, even if it is not reciprocated. We can have love for our career or job or love for our dreams and goals. We love the planet, nature, our pets and even our car. We can love our new television or recent material acquisition.

Many of us have a love of gardening, music, art, writing or other activity that is an outlet for our creativity. There are many ways to love and many aspects of love and they all focus on one thing, we love what we value.

And we hope that this value is returned to us in the form of respect, admiration, appreciation—in short, love.

Our Search for Love

Our search for love, which includes appreciation, respect, honor and value, from others has its own agenda—we want to know that we are accepted, that someone cares enough about us, about what we do, who we are as a person, that they will focus their emotional energy on us in a positive way.

When we don’t understand that this is what we want we move from one situation to another, whether it is romance, jobs, careers, friendships, where we live, thinking that we are looking for happiness, when we are really looking for love, in all of its forms.

From a spiritual perspective we know that we have an unlimited supply of unconditional love available to us all of the time. 

But we want physical proof of that love on the material plane, mirrored to us by others and situations that prove that we are worthy of being loved. And it is not always there. We can work hard for it but don’t always get as much as we need or want.


There are several reasons for that, the most important of which is when we do not connect with our own inner source of unconditional love, we face the world with a bottomless need for love. We will do anything or almost anything, to have that need filled.

When we feel unloved, unappreciated and unvalued by others we also feel powerless, forgetting that what we are experiencing is only a reflection of our own level of self-love. This is a self-perpetuating cycle that drives us farther into seeing proof of our lack of love. And we can’t find or create it and the cycle continues.

When we look for love or proof of our value within each situation and person we encounter, all that is reflected back to us is how much we don’t love ourselves. And we get farther and farther into the cycle because no one can give us what we don’t already have.

The Universe gifts us with love every moment of every day, all we have to do is mirror it and let our need for love become an acknowledgment of the love that we already have and are. 

This makes us powerful, a force to be reckoned with when it comes to manifesting our reality, making our dreams come true and creating the physical proof of the unconditional love that exists within each one of us.

When we have such an awareness of how wonderful, loved and lovable we are that we reflect that love to the world, the world will respond by sending us proof of that love in every situation and person that we encounter.

The bottomless need will be filled to overflowing and we will no longer look for love because love will come looking for us.

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