Conscious Ways to Help Others During Difficulties

by Evita Ochel -

Our planet is in the midst of various shifts and changes. This is bringing about turmoil in many areas.

Some of the changes are geological, some political, some climate related and others yet brought about by the numerous systems on our planet that are collapsing as we speak. 

Regardless of how they are generated, as with all sources of stress, it is never about what happens, but how we handle it that matters most.

Some of the most glorified events in the news have been related to the Earth's climate and geological changes. 

It appears we feel most victimized when transformative events are nature generated. 

In our age and era of trying to control everything and everyone, nature is one aspect that we just cannot seem to be able to control (and for good reasons). So we continue to see numerous events on our planet bring about powerful changes, that are often labelled as "destructive" or "catastrophic". 

While such situations are far from desirable, the one thing that we can always notice happen amidst them is the amount of generated drama and negativity on top of them. 

Aside from the graphic images being played over and over on popular media, words such as disaster and catastrophe keep being drilled into all of our minds. 

Many people accept that this is the “normal” way to act under circumstances like this.

They consider it normal to gather around the office coffee machine and dwell over the poor people of the affected regions, not realizing that on a Global scale of consciousness, they are doing more harm than good.

Many people in our society consider it normal not only to negatively label such events, but fuel them with negative emotions and thoughts in as many ways as they can (unconsciously of course).

This is what many of us consider normal care and compassion.

However, the time has come when many of us are ready and able to see things in a new way. Many of us are stopping vicious cycles and old patterns of habit to adopt new, conscious ways of being. 

To inspire you further into conscious action, below are 4 ways to really help when difficult situations arise. 

No matter how big or small the situation is, there is a new consciousness shining through today in how we see and respond to so called difficult situations.

4 WAYS TO HELP DURING DIFFICULTIES

1. Avoid Labeling the Situation

Whether it is an extreme weather event or a relationship break-up, avoid labeling the situation period, but especially with negative words. Using words like crisis, tragedy, catastrophe or disaster isn't helping anyone.

Words like these carry ample amounts of negatively charged energy, and they do not help you or anyone else for that matter effectively deal with or rise above the situation.

So what should you do? Part of being human is feeling emotion, and in no way would I want to disregard that very precious aspect of ourselves. 

However, what I have learned based on the many masters that have walked the Earth is that any and every situation just “is”. 

Just as we can label it as bad for reason a, b and c, someone else can label it as good for reasons x, y and z. It all depends on the viewpoint or perspective through which we choose to see it.

Hence labeling something, especially with negatively charged emotion, delays all parties involved from moving through a situation, especially in any kind of empowering way. 

I know as a society it is all too easy to get caught up in what the masses are doing and saying, but drilling into a person that their situation is bad or lamenting with them about just how bad it is, is actually not a way to effectively help at all. 

If you truly feel for the person or parties involved, this is a time to show unconditional compassion and help them feel empowered in as many ways as you can.

2. See and Trust In the Perfection That Is

It is suggested that over 90% of people in the world believe in a “God”. Out of that number, on a daily basis a large proportion of these people, especially if they are religious preach about being thankful for the wonderful things that God has given us. 

However, when some sort of a so called negative situation arises, many of these same people are very quick to judge and equally blame that same God.

For those of you who have attained a level of understanding of the deep connection and oneness between you and God – Source – Origin – Creator or however you identify this entity, you most likely understand the profound ways that each and every single one of us is tied to all of the things that manifest in our lives. 

We are one with the creator, we are one with each other, we are one with all that is.

I think it is safe to say that most people who believe in “God” would agree that God is perfect. Hence if God is perfect, everything that is created by God can be seen as perfect. 

As human beings currently here in physical form it is all too easy for us to get caught up in judging things as “bad” or “good” – however in reality all things are perfect.

It is easy to see the perfection of all that is in easy moments, but it is exactly in those not so easy moments that we are called to rise up to our highest version of who we are and see the perfection of all that is.

Not a leaf falls to the ground, not a bone is broken, not a child is born, not a storm strikes that was not perfectly accounted for through the power of creation.

Therefore trust and have faith – that even though you may not be able to see it at this time, there is a perfect reason for every single event that occurs whether in the physical or spiritual realm. Every event, every person, every creation is part of a perfectly orchestrated divine plan that has nothing but our best interest at its core.

And know and trust this too – that if you are touched by whatever “ difficult” situation, whether directly or indirectly, it is because on a deeper level, for a bigger purpose you knew this was in your best interest and you willingly chose to be a part of it for your soul’s evolution.

3. Set Positive Intentions

With regards to setting positive intentions, I am not talking here about some wishful thinking. In the last decade especially, we have discovered that the power of our thoughts is immense. 

Our minds are capable of great things, and with them come our thoughts – energy patterns that today we know are capable of creating our realities.

Therefore no matter what the situation may be, if you do nothing else, set aside some time to really focus on and send whoever may need it some positive, loving, and empowering intentions. 

You can even offer healing, whether it be physical, spiritual, or emotional through your thoughts to a person or group who you feel can use it. I would call it prayer, but all too often in the past, prayer has been a hopeless plea to God, the Saints or angels, etc.

Today, each and every moment, more and more of us recognize that we are co-creators in this world. Many of us have already come to acknowledge our gifts of healing – whether it be remote healing or in person. Many of us realize that through our thoughts, we can change the outcomes – we can change the world.

Therefore, if there is someone, or some group that you know can use your help, give them just a few minutes of your day. Focus in your love, compassion and strength on them. 

Shower them with the gifts of healing energy. And don’t doubt yourself in whether your intentions are having an impact or making any difference. 

You don’t have to be a labeled healer or religious figure to help. All of us are equally special and able to help, you just have to believe in yourself and know that not one thought of love goes unnoticed in the Universe.

4. Get Active

No matter what the situation, whether you are ready to look more in depth at this world, our lives, our existence and all of the events in them, you can do one thing that is always of great help in any difficult situation – get active.

Instead of sitting by dwelling on things, re-hashing things, lamenting over what was, go out there and offer your help in some way. 

Perhaps you can help financially if the situation warrants it, perhaps you can’t. But the one thing that most of us can do if we really want to help, is offer our time, talents, services or efforts.

If an extreme weather event hits or a war breaks out, perhaps you cannot or choose not to go to the actual site, this however does not prevent you from helping out locally. 

There are numerous agencies that need help organizing aid. There are numerous tasks to be carried out remotely to help someone, somewhere else in the world.

Whether you volunteer to take calls, organize a fundraiser, take care of your friend’s kids during a difficult time, or write a letter to the editor. 

 There are so many ways to help – all of us can do it, if we of course choose to, that is. Instead of sitting back and feeling dis-empowered yourself. Instead of sitting back and sending out negative energy through worry, fear and blame, go out there and do something positive.

Be a proactive helper, instead of helpless bystander. No act is too small. No act is too insignificant. Even if you cannot help directly, helping indirectly another cause or situation still adds to raising the collective global consciousness. 

Most importantly remember, you don’t have to wait for any major difficult situation to strike in order to act. There are people in your community who can benefit from your help today. Some of them may be your family, friends and neighbors.

Through your awareness of your expanding consciousness, allow yourself to see and feel deeper, and truly extend your support consciously where help is needed.

About Author: Evita Ochel is a consciousness expansion teacher, whose diverse passions and expertise span all areas of the mind, body, and spirit. She is a writer, speaker, holistic nutritionist, yoga and meditation teacher, web TV host, and author of Healing & Prevention Through Nutrition. Her approach to optimal nutrition is via whole-food, plant-based eating with an emphasis on local, organic, and raw. Evita is also the creator of several online publications that feature hundreds of articles and videos, as well as classes and courses to empower individuals to take their health into their own hands and be the change they wish to see. 

evitaochel.com

How to Instantly Click with Everyone You Meet

by Lolly Daskal -

Why is it we click with some people and not others? What if we could actually click with everyone we meet? What would it take?

Try these simple steps to instantly connect with anyone and to build stronger relationships with the people who are already in your life:

Take a genuine interest.

Everyone--everyone--has something unique to offer. Find out what makes people who they are. 

Hear their story. Ask questions. Dig deep and connect.

Build on common ground.

At its most basic level, any relationship is built on some kind of common ground. 

When you meet someone, try to find something that connects you to similar backgrounds, values experiences. When you detect a pattern, a "Yeah, me too!" moment, connection is instantaneous.

Smile.

"Smile and the whole world smiles with you." Sure, it's a cliche, but for good reason. 

A smile generates enthusiasm and interest; it communicates friendliness and goodwill; it shows you to be accessible and approachable. 

Smile when you speak to someone, as you walk into a room, and when you pick up the phone.

Remember names.

Notice how people introduce themselves and let that be your guide in addressing them. 

Remembering a person's name is important, and using it occasionally in conversation creates connection and helps you remember.

Encourage people to talk.

The key to locking into any relationship is to invite someone to talk, and then listen. 

Most people are just waiting for the other person to finish so they can say their part. Listen and show interest, even if it means stretching your attention span.

Learn from everyone you meet.

Keep the focus on the other person. As a bonus, this prevents your being dragged into gossip. 

Stay focused on his or her interests; find something this person can teach you that will be useful or interesting to know.

Show up with enthusiasm.

People who live with passion find it easier to connect with others. 

Knowing what you really care about and why lets you tap into your own enthusiasm. Upbeat people are inherently likable, and those who radiate enthusiasm tend to click with others.

Make others feel important.

Use your words and attitude to create a spotlight. Let the person you're speaking with know he or she is important, and important to you, by the way you talk. 

Let the sound of your voice be energized. Ask for input. Ask for advice. Ask for help. Ask for insight. Ask for experience. All of these invitations tell the person, "I find you important."

Look for the good.

Be generous with others; look for points of agreement and places where you can affirm or reinforce what they're saying. 

Speak patiently and with care, and those around you will feel heard and appreciated.

Treat others as you want to be treated.

As often as we've heard this, it's still easy to forget to do it from time to time. Don't overthink or complicate it: The power is in the simplicity.

Connecting with others does not take much. It is truly simple. Just be mindful, thoughtful, and genuinely interested.

Offer an honest compliment or your authentic appreciation. There's always something to appreciate about almost anyone.

Maybe it's nothing more than being genuine, as simple as being a leader--or a person--who cares, because when you care, you'll instantly click with everyone you meet.

lollydaskal.com

Being Gentle with Ourselves

by Madisyn Taylor -

So often we are sabotaging ourselves by being in our own way without even know we are doing so.

During those times when our lives are filled with what seems to be constant change and growth, it is important to remember that we need to be gentle with ourselves. 

Since it can be easy to use our energy to keep up with the momentum of our lives, we may not be aware of the fact that we are much more likely to run ourselves down. 

When things seem to be moving quickly, it is especially essential that we make a point to slow down and be gentle with ourselves.

Create Time for Self-Compassion

It might be difficult to notice what is happening to us for we may be so caught up in the whirlwind of our lives that we lose sight of the direction in which things are heading. 

Being gentle with ourselves doesn’t mean that we don’t accomplish things. Instead it means that we honor ourselves on an ongoing basis and take care of the needs of our bodies.

This means different things to different people. For instance, it could mean having a session with a healer; taking a remedy, herbs, or vitamins; or getting extra sleep. 

Putting our energy into ourselves in this way helps create space for a more positive, loving, and accepting view of our lives. 

By setting the intention to do so, we will be more cognizant of our energy levels on a daily basis and more able to replenish them as needed.

The more we are able to treat our bodies with gentleness, the more tenderness and compassion we will call forth into our lives. 

Learning to understand and pay attention to what our self needs will in turn allow us to fill our lives with unlimited loving and healing energy and to truly take care of the things that mean the most to us.

dailyom.com

Healthy Techniques for Dealing with Toxic People

by  Dr. Travis Bradberry -

Toxic people defy logic. 

Some are blissfully unaware of the negative impact that they have on those around them, and others seem to derive satisfaction from creating chaos and pushing other people’s buttons. Either way, they create unnecessary complexity, strife and worst of all stress.

Studies have long shown that stress can have a lasting, negative impact on the brain. Exposure to even a few days of stress compromises the effectiveness of neurons in the hippocampus—an important brain area responsible for reasoning and memory.

Weeks of stress cause reversible damage to neuronal dendrites (the small “arms” that brain cells use to communicate with each other), and months of stress can permanently destroy neurons. Stress is a formidable threat to your success—when stress gets out of control, your brain and your performance suffer.

Most sources of stress at work are easy to identify. If your non-profit is working to land a grant that your organization needs to function, you’re bound to feel stress and likely know how to manage it. It’s the unexpected sources of stress that take you by surprise and harm you the most.

Recent research from the Department of Biological and Clinical Psychology at Friedrich Schiller University in Germany found that exposure to stimuli that cause strong negative emotions—the same kind of exposure you get when dealing with toxic people—caused subjects’ brains to have a massive stress response.

Whether it’s negativity, cruelty, the victim syndrome or just plain craziness, toxic people drive your brain into a stressed-out state that should be avoided at all costs.

The ability to manage your emotions and remain calm under pressure has a direct link to your performance. 

TalentSmart has conducted research with more than a million people, and we’ve found that 90% of top performers are skilled at managing their emotions in times of stress in order to remain calm and in control. One of their greatest gifts is the ability to neutralize toxic people. 

Top performers have well-honed coping strategies that they employ to keep toxic people at bay.

While I’ve run across numerous effective strategies that successful people employ when dealing with toxic people, what follows are twelve of the best. 

To deal with toxic people effectively, you need an approach that enables you, across the board, to control what you can and eliminate what you can’t. 

The important thing to remember is that you are in control of far more than you realize.

Healthy Techniques

for Dealing with Difficult People

• Set Limits (Especially with Complainers)

Complainers and negative people are bad news because they wallow in their problems and fail to focus on solutions. They want people to join their pity party so that they can feel better about themselves. 

People often feel pressure to listen to complainers because they don’t want to be seen as callous or rude, but there’s a fine line between lending a sympathetic ear and getting sucked into their negative emotional spiral. 

You can avoid this only by setting limits and distancing yourself when necessary. Think of it this way: if the complainer were smoking, would you sit there all afternoon inhaling the second-hand smoke? You’d distance yourself and you should do the same with complainers. 

A great way to set limits is to ask complainers how they intend to fix the problem. They will either quiet down or redirect the conversation in a productive direction.

• Don’t Die in the Fight

Successful people know how important it is to live to fight another day, especially when your foe is a toxic individual. In conflict, unchecked emotion makes you dig your heels in and fight the kind of battle that can leave you severely damaged. 

When you read and respond to your emotions, you’re able to choose your battles wisely and only stand your ground when the time is right.

• Rise Above

Toxic people drive you crazy because their behavior is so irrational. Make no mistake about it; their behavior truly goes against reason. So why do you allow yourself to respond to them emotionally and get sucked into the mix? 

The more irrational and off-base someone is, the easier it should be for you to remove yourself from their traps. Quit trying to beat them at their own game. 

Distance yourself from them emotionally and approach your interactions like they’re a science project (or you’re their shrink, if you prefer the analogy). You don’t need to respond to the emotional chaos—only the facts.

• Stay Aware of Their Emotions

Maintaining an emotional distance requires awareness. You can’t stop someone from pushing your buttons if you don’t recognize when it’s happening. 

Sometimes you’ll find yourself in situations where you’ll need to regroup and choose the best way forward. This is fine and you shouldn’t be afraid to buy yourself some time to do so. 

Think of it this way—if a mentally unstable person approaches you on the street and tells you he’s John F. Kennedy, you’re unlikely to set him straight. 

When you find yourself with a coworker who is engaged in similarly derailed thinking, sometimes it’s best to just smile and nod. If you’re going to have to straighten them out, it’s better to give yourself some time to plan the best way to go about it.

• Establish Boundaries

This is the area where most people tend to sell themselves short. They feel like because they work or live with someone, they have no way to control the chaos. This couldn’t be further from the truth. 

Once you’ve found your way to Rise Above a person, you’ll begin to find their behavior more predictable and easier to understand. This will equip you to think rationally about when and where you have to put up with them and when you don’t. 

For example, even if you work with someone closely on a project team, that doesn’t mean that you need to have the same level of one-on-one interaction with them that you have with other team members. 

You can establish a boundary, but you’ll have to do so consciously and proactively. If you let things happen naturally, you are bound to find yourself constantly embroiled in difficult conversations. 

If you set boundaries and decide when and where you’ll engage a difficult person, you can control much of the chaos. The only trick is to stick to your guns and keep boundaries in place when the person tries to encroach upon them, which they will.

• Don’t Let Anyone Limit Your Joy

When your sense of pleasure and satisfaction are derived from the opinions of other people, you are no longer the master of your own happiness. 

When emotionally intelligent people feel good about something that they’ve done, they won’t let anyone’s opinions or snide remarks take that away from them. 

While it’s impossible to turn off your reactions to what others think of you, you don’t have to compare yourself to others, and you can always take people’s opinions with a grain of salt.

That way, no matter what toxic people are thinking or doing, your self-worth comes from within. Regardless of what people think of you at any particular moment, one thing is certain—you’re never as good or bad as they say you are.

• Don’t Focus on Problems—Only Solutions

Where you focus your attention determines your emotional state. When you fixate on the problems you’re facing, you create and prolong negative emotions and stress. 

When you focus on actions to better yourself and your circumstances, you create a sense of personal efficacy that produces positive emotions and reduces stress. 

When it comes to toxic people, fixating on how crazy and difficult they are gives them power over you. Quit thinking about how troubling your difficult person is, and focus instead on how you’re going to go about handling them. 

This makes you more effective by putting you in control, and it will reduce the amount of stress you experience when interacting with them.

• Don’t Forget

Emotionally intelligent people are quick to forgive, but that doesn’t mean that they forget. Forgiveness requires letting go of what’s happened so that you can move on. It doesn’t mean you’ll give a wrongdoer another chance. 

Successful people are unwilling to be bogged down unnecessarily by others’ mistakes, so they let them go quickly and are assertive in protecting themselves from future harm.

• Squash Negative Self-Talk

Sometimes you absorb the negativity of other people. There’s nothing wrong with feeling bad about how someone is treating you, but your self-talk (the thoughts you have about your feelings) can either intensify the negativity or help you move past it. 

Negative self-talk is unrealistic, unnecessary, and self-defeating. It sends you into a downward emotional spiral that is difficult to pull out of. You should avoid negative self-talk at all costs.

• Limit Caffeine Intake

Drinking caffeine triggers the release of adrenaline. Adrenaline is the source of the “fight-or-flight” response, a survival mechanism that forces you to stand up and fight or run for the hills when faced with a threat. 

The fight-or-flight mechanism sidesteps rational thinking in favor of a faster response. This is great when a bear is chasing you, but not so great when you’re surprised in the hallway by an angry coworker.

• Get Some Sleep

I’ve beaten this one to death over the years and can’t say enough about the importance of sleep to increasing your emotional intelligence and managing your stress levels. 

When you sleep, your brain literally recharges, shuffling through the day’s memories and storing or discarding them (which causes dreams), so that you wake up alert and clear-headed. 

Your self-control, attention, and memory are all reduced when you don’t get enough—or the right kind—of sleep. Sleep deprivation raises stress hormone levels on its own, even without a stressor present. 

A good night’s sleep makes you more positive, creative, and proactive in your approach to toxic people, giving you the perspective you need to deal effectively with them.

• Use Your Support System

It’s tempting, yet entirely ineffective, to attempt tackling everything by yourself. To deal with toxic people, you need to recognize the weaknesses in your approach to them. This means tapping into your support system to gain perspective on a challenging person. 

Everyone has someone at work and/or outside work who is on their team, rooting for them, and ready to help them get the best from a difficult situation. 

Identify these individuals in your life and make an effort to seek their insight and assistance when you need it. Something as simple as explaining the situation can lead to a new perspective. 

Most of the time, other people can see a solution that you can’t because they are not as emotionally invested in the situation.

Bringing It All Together

Before you get this system to work brilliantly, you’re going to have to pass some tests. Most of the time, you will find yourself tested by touchy interactions with problem people.

Thankfully, the plasticity of the brain allows it to mold and change as you practice new behaviors, even when you fail.

Implementing these healthy, stress-relieving techniques for dealing with difficult people will train your brain to handle stress more effectively and decrease the likelihood of ill effects.

talentsmart.com

Are You 'Spiritual But Not Religious'?

by  Lissa Rankin MD -

When I talk to some people about spirituality, they commonly respond with, “Oh, but I’m not religious,” to which I respond, “Yeah, me neither.” 

Then they look a bit puzzled. The way I see it, every religion is some human being’s interpretation of spiritual principles and while there’s a lot of overlap in the teachings of all religions that probably points to some spiritual truth, I find myself resisting any dogma that says that one way is “The Way” and everything else is hogwash.

Ages ago, I wrote about my “Grab Bag Religion”. Some critique such an approach to spirituality, arguing that those who consider themselves “spiritual but not religious” lack the discipline that comes from focus on one religious pathway. 

Others say that the California-style “It’s all good” approach to spirituality fails to offer clear morals and strict values. This may be a valid criticism. Certainly spiritual practice can deepen one’s spiritual journey and living a life of integrity tends to accompany spiritual commitment.

I certainly respect those who have found a religious discipline that feels aligned with their truth but after investigating many religious paths, none felt truly authentic to my soul.

Though Buddhism most closely resonates with me and though I’m attracted to the yogic tradition, I still say that Jesus is my favorite. And yet, I don’t consider myself a Buddhist or a committed yogini or a Christian.  

I tend to resonate with the Buddhist teachings of non-dualism, especially the way Adyashanti teaches, but I’m also attracted to the Divine Feminine goddess worship of the yogic tradition, especially the way Sera Beak expresses it. 

I also love the Sufi mystic poets like Rumi and Hafiz. Yet, no deity speaks to my heart more than Jesus, who strikes me as perhaps the most loving being to have ever walked the earth in human form

If you mix all those together, you get a flavor of the cocktail of my spiritual inklings. But yours might taste quite different, and I think that’s perfectly okay.

Defining “Spiritual But Not Religious”

If you, like me, consider yourself “spiritual but not religious,” what does that even mean?

Christine Hassler, my soul sister and author of Expectation Hangover, recently wrote:

Spirituality is one’s capacity to be guided. It is not about how much we mediate. Or how often we go to church. Or how many yoga poses or Sanskrit words we know. Or how much time we spend praying. Or how many Om pieces of jewelry we have. Spirituality is really about how much we get out of our own way and allow ourselves to be guided by God. 

That means . . . 

Letting go of expectations. 

Releasing attachments to the way we think things should be 

Quieting the voice of our ego so we can hear the voice of inner wisdom. 

Making changes that maybe scary and facing uncertainty with faith.  

Being of service to others that Spirit places in our lives in often unexpected ways. 

I thought that was pretty much the best definition of “spiritual but not religious” that I had ever heard. I might add that spirituality is a commitment to walking the spiritual path from the head to the heart. 

It’s a choice to free yourself from letting your ego take the lead in your life so you can surrender your ego’s attachments and instead, let your soul take the wheel. It’s the decision to choose love over fear — to withhold judgment of yourself or others, to stop labeling everything as “right” or “wrong,” to transition from a black and white “dualistic” world to a non-dual perspective that is comfortable with paradox. 

It’s the willingness to make your life an offering to the Divine in whatever form you resonate with a Higher Power, whether it’s God or some other deity or just the Divine within yourself (which I call “Your Inner Pilot Light“). 

It’s your commitment to learning to receive, interpret and discern spiritual guidance, mixed with the courage to actually act upon this guidance, even when it directs you away from what your ego wants.

(If you’re not sure how to receive this guidance, listen to this free teleclass I recorded with Rachel Naomi Remen —  10 Ways Your Soul Guides Your In Daily Life.)

When you choose to live by these principles and your prayer becomes “Make me a vessel for Divine love in the world,” you are definitely on the spiritual path, whether or not you consider yourself religious. 

When you realize that orchestrating your life around the ego’s grasping desires and attachments fails to truly fulfill you, you free yourself from the prison of the hungry ghost of the ego, which never gets fulfilled, no matter how many goals you achieve or how much money you earn or how much love or sex you attract. 

Once you stop letting fear rule your life, you become free. The reward from the challenges of the spiritual path is inner peace — true lasting relief from human suffering, regardless of the chaos happening around you. And that makes it all worth it. Really.

As an added side effect, living this way is medicine not just for the soul but for the body. As I described in Mind Over Medicine and as I dig deeper into in my upcoming book The Fear Cure, when you’re no longer living in a state of constant fear, anxiety, and stress, the nervous system rests in the relaxation response and the body naturally begins to heal.

The Spiritual Path

Making a commitment to the spiritual path is no small task, and many who consider themselves “religious” are not on the spiritual path at all (though many are). 

Just because someone is faithful to religious rules doesn’t mean they’re committed to freeing themselves from the prison of fear and an ego-driven life. Sometimes, their egos are just grasping to the rules of their religion as a way to structure their egoic world view and use it as an opportunity to judge those who don’t share their world view. 

This isn’t meant to judge those who are committed to a particular religion. Many religious people are definitely on the spiritual path. But the two don’t always go together.

In my opinion, anyone who kills others in the name of religion or judges those who choose to have abortions or bans homosexuals from their spiritual community is not truly walking the spiritual path (no judgment, of course). 

When religion becomes an excuse to practice fear, hatred and judgment, it takes us away from what I consider true spirituality, which is the opportunity to practice radical love, compassion, forgiveness, and surrender to Divine Will, even when you’re asked to open your heart to those you find most challenging to love.

Love Without Conditions

When I wrote a controversial blog post right after Osama bin Laden was killed (you can read it on owningpink.com  here), I was trying to shine a light  on  the judgment that is so common in our fear and judgment-based culture. 

We judge terrorists because they’re “bad people” and we dance in the streets when we kill them. But weren’t we upset with the terrorists because they were judging us for not being Muslim enough? How is countering judgment with judgment spiritual?

Yet, we cling to our judgment with a fierce righteousness we seem reluctant to release, almost as if we think our judgment protects us. Many forget that our ultimate protection lies in living lives committed to the practice of love. 

This doesn’t mean we condone the behavior of terrorists. But when Osama bin Laden was killed, a human being lost his life. His family may have been grieving his loss. And it made me feel a bit sick to see us celebrating when a human life had been taken.

I can only hope that as we experience the shift in human consciousness that is underway, we will love more and judge less as we remember that we are all connected — all of us, even the Osama bin Laden’s of the world.

Releasing Judgment

I’m feeling inspired to write more about what it means to release judgment and to replace judgment with compassionate discernment. So stay tuned. I have a lot more to say about this and will share more thoughts next week. Until then, share your thoughts about your own spiritual path.

Are you religious? Spiritual but not religious? Not into spirituality at all?

Are you willing to try to withhold judgment of others?

Can you practice radical forgiveness while setting appropriate boundaries and using discernment to keep you and your loved ones safe?

Lissa Rankin, MD, is a mind-body medicine physician, founder of the Whole Health Medicine Institute training program for physicians and health care providers, and the New York Times bestselling author of “Mind Over Medicine: Scientific Proof That You Can Heal Yourself”. She is on a grass roots mission to heal health care, while empowering you to heal yourself.

lissarankin.com

wakeup-world.com

An Antidote to the 'Problem'

Rev. Casey Roberts -

When someone we know or love is in crisis, our worlds begin to spin. There is suddenly so much to think about…

• understanding the nature of the problem,
• finding a solution to the problem,
• communicating the problem to others.

And in the wake of all this, the problem suddenly becomes the major point of focus. In essence, what we want—which is our joy—begins to dissolve as all of our thoughts and efforts focus on what we don’t want—the problem.

At the same time, we want to help. 

In the case of illness, for example, we may want to “be there” for our family members, spouses or friends as they move through the medical mill of diagnosis and treatment.

So we read what we can about the illness, its causes and its treatments. We become familiar with new terminology and new realms of science. And still, it’s all about the problem.

Problems are not constructive. Problems tend to bring with them only fear. So, when we focus on the problem, we are focusing on fear.

When this happens to someone we care about, it is as though they say to us, “I’m really afraid.” And our response becomes, “Okay. Because I love you, I’ll be afraid too.”

We don’t offer our care and support to people because we're afraid. We offer our care and support to people because we love them. And it is our love that facilitates their healing--not our fear.

When someone gets sick, they are not their illness. When someone’s marriage falls apart, they are not their divorce. When someone we love is in crisis, the things about that person that engendered our love are still present. 

It is in meeting them in that place, a place of love, that we are both healed.

Now I’m not suggesting for a moment that when a friend or loved one is in crisis that we deny the challenges that they are facing and act as if nothing is happening. Nor am I suggesting that if someone is in pain that we disregard their feelings.

But I am saying that when people we love are in crisis, they need not be treated as though they have suddenly been transformed into their "problem." 

That which first engendered your love for that person is still there. The joy and beauty of that person is still present. It's only by looking into the essence of those we love that we can meet them at the place where true healing occurs.

There is a phrase that I heard for many years…and it took me many years to understand it.

The phrase is, “Holding the space for someone.” “Holding the space” can mean a variety of things. But, for me, it means that I hold a space in my heart for someone’s joy—-even when they are sad; I hold a space in my heart for someone’s wellness—-even when they are sick; I hold a space in my heart for someone’s abundance—even as they are losing their home.

And when I hold that space in my heart for someone, I find that I’m no longer focusing on the problem or my fears or their fears. 

Instead, I am keeping alive a vision of their joy. 

I am keeping alive the truth of who they are—-beyond the problems and the pain. I am keeping alive a place to which they can return once the storm is over.

To heal is to make whole. It is to mend what has been broken. 

And when we support another person’s healing, it is inevitable that we will be healed as well. But that can never be accomplished when our thoughts are focused only on what is wrong. 

It can only be accomplished when we remember the love that binds us together.

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The Pain of Absence and Presence

by Catherine Nagle - 

With 23 years between my two children, I entered a different world in 1995 when my second child was born. As an old-schooled mom, I wasn’t familiar and grew terribly confused by the aggressive parenting style I encountered the second time around.

I continued raising my second child in the same way as my first, having learned my mother’s devout teachings “to feel what another feels by walking in the other’s shoes.”

To this day, I’m pleased with the results whenever I put her words into action.

An example of my mother’s wisdom: 

When my first husband was critically ill and in the hospital, I spent endless days and nights by his side while my daughter stayed with my parents. Every night I’d come home after my daughter had just fallen asleep.

Already feeling guilty for leaving the hospital, I now had to face my mom’s complaints that I didn’t get home soon enough to tuck my daughter into bed yet again!

Heartbroken, I wondered why Mom didn’t realize that I had no choice. Yet she could only hear my daughter cries, “Mom-mom, when are mommy and daddy ever coming home?”

Mom went on to explain that my daughter at only age 5 didn’t understand my absence, whether due to being in the hospital with her ill father, working in another town, or even out shopping.

At the time, I felt my mother was insensitive to my situation but I’ve since realized that she was right, coming to understand that young children feel even more emotional emptiness from a parent’s absences, regardless of the reason.

In truth, my mother was seeing the larger picture, having put herself in all our shoes, especially her 5-year-old granddaughter’s vulnerability.

I’ve since seen the tears that follow when children’s needs are not fully considered, regardless of whether the separation results from parents over-working, tending to others or other demands preventing parents from being with their children.

I believe we are missing out when we ignore our most important guidance by busying ourselves with what society values instead of making our children our top priority.

Perhaps it was my experience of being left alone and the pressure to keep up that opened up my eyes.

Think about it: 

Have you ever felt disappointed or sad when your spouse or partner can’t make it home for one reason or another? Did you feel a sting from their absence?

I don’t know about you, but many a time throughout my life, I’ve felt that sinking feeling of disappointment. Now, can’t you imagine how this must feel to a child?

How are they supposed to deal with this feeling?

And yet, how many times do we disappoint our children who are eagerly waiting for us? This is powerful when we realize what our own absence might feel like for a child and her intense feeling of being let down.

Adults talk endlessly about their pain when their spouse is too busy for them and some go into counseling. There is an infrastructure supporting working mothers with day-care that may permit even further absence.

We support parents who seek higher education to earn their degrees, which is a blessing for those parents but not always fulfilling for their children.

This is a gray area in which we have to consider the entire picture and decide what’s best for everyone.

These days I sense a silent cry from the children greater than before. 

I sometimes wonder if we were to ask our children whether they’d prefer their parents be more of a go-getter attaining awards, degrees and achievements and fatter paycheck or if they’d just want us closer to them.

It’s not so different from wanting our spouses or partners to be with us as much as possible.

I’ve learned that a great many people feel discontent over their spouse’s absences and yet they still practice arms-length parenting of their children.

I wonder if those parents examined their own childhoods if they’d then recall who was there for them, and might still be there and then ask themselves: “Do my children have as much support as I did and still have?"

What more can we do for our children to keep them feeling loved and supported? My wise mother said;

“When we become a mother, we no longer think only for one. We have to think and feel for someone else first. We have to imagine being in their heart and to hear what they are saying.” 

Her words are as sound and true today as they were when she said them to me over 30 years ago. It’s the best advice and might prevent some disappointment for many of us. It might also serve as rule for all your relationships.

The simple method of stepping into another’s shoes might deliver the love and kindness we all need.

About Author: Catherine Nagle - Grew up in Philadelphia with 16 brothers and sisters, reared by loving, old school Italian parents. Catherine’s artist father’s works graced locations from churches to public buildings; her mother was a full-time homemaker. A professional hairdresser, Catherine worked in various salons while studying the Bible and pursuing spiritual growth through courses, seminars, lectures and inspirational books, including A Course in Miracles and the works of Marianne Williamson among many others. The mother of two children and a grandmother, Catherine lives in Pennsylvania with her husband and son. She is the Author of  Imprinted Wisdom.

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6 Ways To Talk To People Who Just Don’t Get It

by Gregg Prescott -

Are you tired of trying to reach people who just don’t get it? Here are six ways to help you start up a spirituality conversation with just about anyone!

WAYS TO SPARK OTHERS INTEREST

1. Try to find some common ground: 

Most people have a curiosity about UFO’s and have either seen one or knows of someone who has seen a UFO. Ask them about their beliefs in UFO’s. 

There are dramatic earth changes going on right now, such as tsunamis, volcanoes, earthquakes, mass animal die offs, sinkholes, land cracks, solar flares, etc… 

Bring up one of these topics and segue it into other earth change topics. From here, you can mention how our planet follows cycles of time, how history always seems to repeat itself and how to learn from these cycles of time. 

If someone is having difficulty sleeping, you could mention the benefits of meditation and melatonin, and how melatonin helps to open the pineal gland. 

We’re starting to see an influx of television programming and movie productions that revolve around aliens. Create a conversation about this and test the waters to see where people stand on whether they believe aliens are malevolent (bad) or benevolent (good). 

If you’re having a conversation about art, you can easily mention how there have been discoveries of 10,000+ year old artwork about aliens and their spacecrafts. 

2. Ask hypothetical questions 

We’ve all asked these kinds of questions, such as, “If you were an animal, what kind of animal would you be and why?” Try asking a similar question, but from a spiritual perspective: “If you could have any ability, what would it be and why?”  

Some people might want to fly or to be invisible while other people might want the ability to read minds. From here, you can talk about ways to work on specific abilities, such as telepathy, seeing auras and telekinesis.

3. Ask them to watch just one video 

About anyone will check out at least a few minutes of a video you send them. If the video link is in an email, then chances are, they’ll put this aside and will watch it at their convenience. Don’t force the issue by asking them if they’ve seen the video yet. If they’re still interested, they’ll talk to you about it. 

I’d recommend Esoteric Agenda, The Secret, Zeitgeist or Ring of Power but feel free to use your own discernment. 

4. Look for opportunities to plant the seed 

Let’s imagine you’re standing in line at the grocery store. To start a conversation, you might try saying, I never really knew about genetically modified foods until I read about it on in5d.com (or your favorite alternative news website).”  

This plants the seed of suggestion to those who are curious about GMO’s or whatever topic you’re trying to garner curiosity about. You could even talk about how taxes are so high and segue that into how all political parties are the same. For some, this will begin their awakening process. 

5. Make a statement, be creative 

Make a custom t shirt about what you’d like to talk about. People will ask you about it. 

6. Ask other like-minded people 

Attend workshops, go to conferences, participate in a drum circle and ask people how they start a conversation with someone who just doesn’t get it.

Remember: If they’re disinterested, then let it go.

All we need to do is to light their candle of curiosity. 

The rest is up to them.

About Author: Gregg Prescott, M.S. is the founder and editor of In5D and BodyMindSoulSpirit. He hosts a weekly spiritual show on In5D Radio and promotes spiritual, metaphysical and esoteric conferences in the United States through In5dEvents. Gregg is currently working in collaboration with Michelle Walling, CHLC, in opening a holistic walk-in clinic called Alternative Holistic Healthcare (AHH) in Sarasota, FL with subsequent subsidiaries around the world based upon this model.

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