How to Be Optimistic — Even at Rock Bottom

by Debbie Hampton -

After a suicide attempt, I was left seriously brain injured and lost custody of my two sons, who moved to a different state with their father.

As part of my emotional recovery in the years that followed, I HAD to consciously look for the good around me because there wasn’t any readily apparent anymore. Often, I had to get out my magnifying glass to find some, but good was always still there.

I just had to notice it.

The sun warming my cheeks as I walked the dog on a chilly morning; the silkiness of the cat’s fur as I scratched her rumbling chin with her curled up on my lap; a really good tune playing on my iPod were the smallest of joys, but smile-worthy nonetheless.

They made me feel a heck of a lot better than focusing on all the bad stuff.

Your brain has a natural negativity bias which means it constantly looks for, learns from, and holds onto anything it considers a danger or loss more intensely than anything that's neutral or pleasant

There's a good reason for this. Our ancestors were much more likely to live long enough to pass on their genes to a new generation by remembering a deadly predator's territory than remembering a sunny napping spot.

Look for the good and you'll find it.

This tendency to notice and remember the bad is just your brain protecting you. But it means your brain is always on guard, scanning the environment for danger. Bad trumps good every time.

The media takes advantage of this fact by blasting catastrophic, panic-inducing stories at us all day. Being on alert all the time leaves us overwhelmed, stressed out, and anxious.

So, how do you find good, happiness, and joy when even your brain is against you? You have to intentionally look for, put emphasis on, and create good experiences.

Your brain doesn’t automatically recognize the good that is present in your life every day.

There’s no threat, no fear, nothing to make your brain take notice. (It doesn’t automatically note all the bad things that didn’t happen.)

Through a process called habituation, your brain filters out all the ho-hum things that don’t change, whether it’s the buzz of the refrigerator or the routine absence of disasters. While habituation is an efficient use of your neural resources, it causes you to miss a lot of the good.

By becoming mindful of the present moment, you can find the good that's already in your life and shift your perspective. Now, I'm not suggesting that you stick your head in the sand and deny the ugly stuff.

I'm telling you to give your attention and energy to the things that could yield a positive experience for you by finding good in your current setting, recent events, ongoing conditions, personal qualities, the past, and the lives of others.

Positive Momentum

You’re alive. You ate today. The sun is out. That trip to the beach with your friends last summer was epic. You ran this morning. You earned a college degree and scored that award at work last month.

These kinds of small, good things can help build positive momentum in your brain by allowing yourself to feel the glowing emotions and sensations that go with the thoughts.

Pleasant thoughts cause your brain to secrete good neurochemicals which means a happier, calmer you.

It’s important to follow through on any positive actions that occur to you along with the thoughts, like writing a note, making a phone call, or putting your hands on that award, to extend and internalize the good vibes.

Good things are all around you every minute of every day — you just have to start to notice them.

Even bad things often contain seeds of good experiences.

• What lessons did you learn? 
• Are you stronger for having had the experience? 
• What did you gain?

Sometimes, it's impossible to come up with anything good in the middle of a big mess. You might be in terrible pain, have suffered a tremendous loss, be buried deep in depression or in a total panic. That’s OK. That’s being human.

Have compassion for yourself, accept where you are, ride out the storm and look for the good when you can come up for air.

Noticing the good has become a way of life for me. 

It’s a choice, costs nothing, and I can do it anywhere at any time. 

Making a conscious effort to notice the good and internalizing it makes it easier for me to stay calm and positive, even in the middle of chaos.

Because neurons that fire together wire together, the practice of changing your focus and directing your attention to notice and internalize the good, actually changes the neuronal structure of your brain, through a process called neuroplasticity, helping to counter your brain's natural negativity bias and slant it in a more positive direction all the time.

Look for the good and you'll find it.

About Author: Debbie Hampton recovered from decades of unhealthy thinking and depression, a suicide attempt, and resulting brain injury to become an educational and inspirational writer. On her website, The Best Brain Possible, Debbie shares how she rebuilt her brain and life to find joy and thrive. She wants you to know that you can do it too! Or you can quickly learn the steps to build a better you in her book Beat Depression And Anxiety By Changing Your Brain with simple practices easy to implement in your daily life. Improve your brain, improve your life. Get daily inspiration and information by joining Debbie on Facebook.

thebestbrainpossible.com

mindbodygreen.com

How To Transform Stress Into Relaxation

by Lissa Rankin MD -

I was scheduled to speak in Munster, Indiana at 7pm in front of 300 cancer patients, their support people, and their health care providers.

Mapquest said it would only take 48 minutes to drive from the North Shore of Chicago, but knowing Chicago traffic, I left at 2:30pm thinking I’d avoid traffic, sit and work on my next book in a coffee shop with plenty of time to spare and show up fully chillaxin’ in a relaxation response.

Good thing I did.

I inched my way east in bumper to bumper traffic, past downtown Chicago into eastern Illinois, until finally – still with 2 hours to spare – the traffic speed picked up.

I was cruising along at 60 mph, listening to Pandora on my iPhone, when suddenly something in the road jumped up and blew out the two driver’s side tires on the car I had just borrowed from my BFF from my Northwestern days.

So there I am at 5pm in a full on stress response. My amygdala is rightfully screaming “DANGER!” as I try not to careen into the car next to me or get crushed by the car behind me.

Full of cortisol and epinephrine, I wrangle the big minivan into control and limp my way to the highway shoulder, where my whole body shakes from an overdose of adrenaline.

Knowing what I know about stress responses from all my research for Mind Over Medicine, I take a moment to assess myself.

I know that the body’s stress responses only last 90 seconds if we don’t add more stress response-inducing stories to them. As soon as my amygdala realized I was safe, my stress response should have shut off.

But then the stories start.

I watch myself in slow motion, like I am an observer, watching myself in a movie, realizing how we let one real, healthy life-endangering stress response spin into dozens of them.

(“Oh no, I’m going to miss my speech and I’ll disappoint 300 people! Oh no, it’s not even my car! Oh no, how much will it cost to fix this? Oh no, I don’t even have my AAA card because it got stolen in Miami!”) And so on…

Aborting The Stress Response

I know that when the body is in stress response, the body’s natural self-repair mechanisms flip off to focus on getting you out of danger, but personally, I want my self-healing mechanisms in fine form as often as possible.

So before I even pick up my phone, I close my eyes and give thanks for my safety and practice a little Herbert Benson-style relaxation response technique to cut off the cycle (I teach you how to do this in Mind Over Medicine. As I do so, I feel my nervous system start to unwind.

Then I call Matt to get my AAA number, dial up AAA to request a tow truck, alert the event coordinator to my situation, call my BFF to explain what happened to her car… and try to let go of any other stories, since at that moment, there is nothing I can do but wait.

Angels Come In Tow Trucks

The tow truck driver finally arrives – sweet, sweet burly guy. When we arrive at the mechanic’s shop, there I am, in heels and stage makeup, looking quite wind-blown from my side-of-the-freeway hour, and there are 5 guys all standing around waiting to help, even though the shop closed 10 minutes earlier.

Turns out there’s not much they can do. The tires are totally blown out, and they don’t have those tires in stock. They apologize profusely. I am grateful for their efforts.

So we unload the car off the tow truck into their parking lot. It’s now 6:30.

Tow Truck Angel then says, “Don’t you have a speech to go to?”

I nod.

He says, “Climb in, darlin’.”

Tow Truck Angel proceeds to drive me in the big ol’ tow truck across the border into Indiana to the performing arts center where I’m giving my lecture.

On the way, he asks what I’ll be talking about, and I tell him about Mind Over Medicine. Tow Truck Angel gets teary and starts telling me about his father, who was his best friend, who he saw every single day.

His dad died 5 years ago of metastatic cancer. “But he was so healthy,” Tow Truck Angel says. “He ate perfectly, exercised every day, followed all his doctor’s orders. And he was only 67.”

I told him that’s what my book is all about and that I was about to speak to 300 cancer patients.

Practicing Gratitude

Tow Truck Angel shows me a clipboard adorned with photos of the Ford Mustang he and his father built together before he died. The front plate of the car has a photo of his dad on it. Tow Truck Angel gets teary again.

“I loved my dad so much,” he says.

Tow Truck Angel and I have a moment as I tell him about my father, how he died of metastatic cancer 7 years ago and how I dedicated the book to him. We’re quiet for a bit, and I’m noticing that my overriding emotion is gratitude.

I’m grateful I didn’t get hurt or hurt anyone when the tires blew. I’m grateful people have been so kind. I’m grateful for how green the trees are and how blessed I am to be able to do the work I’m doing. I’m grateful the car failed me so close to where I am going.

I arrive at the performing arts center 15 minutes before 7pm, feeling awash in gratitude that I arrive in time.

Choosing To Heal

When I get up on stage, rumpled but not frazzled, I say the prayer I always say, “Make me a vessel.” And then I look out at the faces of those who appreciate my work and I am, again, grateful.

I tell the story about my flat tires and remind all of us – myself included – that when things don’t go the way we plan, we can easily spin into a series of unnecessary and unproductive stress responses – or we can be proactive and choose to abort the thoughts that poison our bodies and turn off our innate self-healing processes.

The choice belongs to us.

This is not an easy practice. It’s so natural to spin out when things don’t go as planned.

I’m certainly not immune to the cycle of stress responses. But for some reason, this time, something – Divine intervention? – stepped in and helped me avoid my natural tendency to make up a million stories that would have left me stressed, frustrated, grumpy, out of sorts, exhausted and because the Universe has a sense of humor, probably late.

I’m sure I’ll fall prey to the cycle again. But the more I’m aware of my tendency to spin into stress responses and the more tools I learn to abort them, the easier it gets to navigate stressful situations.

You too can choose relaxation responses over stress responses. I teach some simple techniques for how to do so in Mind Over Medicine.

What do you choose?

About Author: Lissa Rankin, MD is a mind-body medicine physician, founder of the Whole Health Medicine Institute training program for physicians and health care providers, and the New York Times bestselling author of Mind Over Medicine: Scientific Proof That You Can Heal Yourself. She is on a grass roots mission to heal health care, while empowering you to heal yourself. Lissa blogs at LissaRankin.com and also created two online communities– HealHealthCareNow.com and OwningPink.com. She is also the author of two other books, a professional artist, an amateur ski bum and an avid hiker. Lissa lives in the San Francisco Bay area with her husband and daughter.

LissaRankin.com

wakeup-world.com

4 Feng Shui Tips to Increase Good Fortune

by Ellen Whitehurst -

The very first thing you see the very first time you open your eyes in the morning will influence and impact, not only that particular day, but potentially your entire life. 

Tip 1: Seed your day by getting lucky first thing in the morning!  

Even if you’re traditionally not a morning person, there are some things that anyone can do to start the day off from a place of anticipation, expectation, gratitude and joy. 

If the first thing you spy opening your eyes is a desk full or unfinished business or exercise equipment (a ‘no – no’ in the bedroom anyway!) with the dry cleaning hanging on it or an open bottle of Vick’s NyQuil from the cold you had a week ago, well, imagine how these images impact your experience. 

On the other hand, imagine a clean and clutter free sleeping space with a beautiful comforter keeping you cozy and warm and some images or artwork of beauty, and possibly even some soft music playing in the background. You might feel fully present as you express,“Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.” 

Tip 2: Beginning your day in a state of present of gratitude also begins your day with grace.  

Don’t forget that ages-old legend and lore says that if you get out of bed by climbing over the foot of it, you’ll have outstanding luck all the day long. 

Tip 3: Have positive expectations. 

Recent scientific research done on the difference between lucky and unlucky people shows that lucky people’s expectations, their dreams, goals, hopes and ambitions often become a reality because of one fundamental difference in how lucky people think. 

Simply put, lucky people have positive expectations that motivate them to take control of their lives. They will actually attempt to achieve whatever they want from life no matter the likelihood of being successful. This internal motivation prompts lucky people to persist even in the face of challenge, obstacle, or adversity. 

Lucky people define at least five goals for themselves on a regular basis by writing them down and looking at them often. And, then, they take at least one proactive step each day towards reaching those same goals. They reach out or join in or even simply do a positive meditative visualization of what they will feel when their goal is reached. Lucky people expect success and so they often achieve it. 

Tip 4: Follow your instincts and intuition. 

Lucky people follow their instincts, intuition and plain old gut hunches much, much more than those who consider themselves to be unlucky.  

The lucky bunch do different things in order to enhance their intuition and hone their instincts such as investing time and energy in some formal form of meditation, or simply sitting quietly and clearing their mind and focusing on the first thoughts that come to that same place after asking an appropriate question. 

Creating a sense of stillness in order to get in touch with intuitive inspiration is a hallmark of lucky people and can add immeasurably to a state of clarity and calm as well. Go ahead, ask any harried mom how lucky they she is when she finds personal peace and some clarity and calm. See? Lucky!

These tips apply to anyone (even you) at any time and in any place. Exercised with regularity and belief, these tips can help you or anyone to create a luckier life filled with health, happiness, love and prosperity.

ellenwhitehurst.com

Guide to Being Happy With Yourself

by Kevin Sinclair -

Although most of us would much rather feel happy, from time to time we all get a little down in the dumps and this is quite normal in this day and age.

However, we need to be aware that out attitudes can affect how we feel and if we adopt a positive mind set we are sure to be back on the road to happiness sooner rather than later.

We can be as happy as we want to by simply counting our blessings. 

When we take into consideration the fact that there are many children in hospitals suffering with all manner of debilitating illnesses who display such wonderful attitudes to life, how bad can what we have on our minds really be?

There is always a way to overcome our concerns if a positive attitude is taken.

Be thankful for all the good things in your life. 

When you wake up in the mornings think about all the people who love and appreciate you and be grateful that they feature in your life too.

Quite often there may be a particular object which makes you think about good times. 

For example, the beautiful flower arrangement reminding you that someone cares. Take a long look at the flowers each morning and the day will take on a special meaning.

An item such as this should be placed where you can see it, as soon as you wake up and this will put you in the right mood for the rest of the day.

Set yourself a plan for the day and stick to it. It does not matter if it's a business plan or simply the household chores you are going to carry out - having a plan makes your time important and more valued.

Of course, keeping yourself busy gets rids of the blues and also ensures you accomplish a lot as well. You will have a feeling of being worthwhile and your life will have a style and purpose which will be noticed and appreciated by those close to you.

When you feel like things are getting on top of you and that you are spiraling downwards, take a step back and do all you can to raise your spirits. 

Your positive attitude will eliminate your negative thoughts and give you the motivation you need to get through the day, making sure you start the following day by being thankful for all the good things in your life.

besuccessfulnews.com

ezinearticles.com

The Beauty of Oneness

by Panache Desai -

Have you ever looked at an insect - moth, butterfly, beetle or ladybug - and simply admired its beauty and purpose? Maybe it’s the softness of its body, the frailty of its legs, the lovely color of its wings.

It’s remarkable that each creature – from a human being to a fire ant - is on this earth for a reason. We each have a purpose in our oneness on earth.

The simple act of appreciation moves you into oneness. 

When you take the time to see something fully, your awareness escalates and you can become one with it.

Maybe you get a rare, up-close look at a Praying Mantis and think, "that's the greatest Praying Mantis I've ever seen."

When you take a moment to focus your awareness on it and appreciate its glorious green color, bent lanky legs and lovely, heart-shaped head, you become one with the Mantis. Human and insect connected in oneness, if only for a precious, fleeting moment.

It’s important to take some portion of your day to remember the oneness of all life.

As vibrational beings, we can always access that connection because we all are the same.

When you move into a heightened space of awareness, you can see the common singularity throughout all of reality. 

You can honor oneness every day by appreciating what’s around you - a blooming flower, the turning of the leaves, your family, your pets or a stranger on the street.

As you start recognizing the connectedness of life, you begin to see yourself in everything and everyone you meet.

When someone says, "I feel invisible," it’s really a prayer - a plea for someone to take time and appreciate all the joy, kindness and love they have to offer.

We all have a purpose. We are all amazing, remarkable creatures. 

When we connect in oneness, we form a powerful union, appreciate each other’s beautiful wings and soar to new heights of wholeness together.

panachedesai.com

How to Bring About Conscious Change

by Neenat Merchant Syal - 

Pause a moment from whatever you are doing… Be with this moment…

Take a slow, deep breath and breathe into your belly… As you read these words notice your breathing… Notice your body…

What are you thinking ?… How are you feeling?… Is there any tension in your body?… If so, where ?…

Take a moment to breathe into that tension… Relax… Let it go… Just Be.

You are constantly changing. 

Until more recently inner change occurred without much conscious awareness. Now many people are awakening and with this comes a new POWER, the power to change consciously, with your intention.

No longer do you have to believe that you are a victim. As you learn how to co-create with Spirit, you will become more attuned to the laws of nature and the universe.

This knowledge will help you navigate through life more skillfully even in times of change and turmoil.

There are many tools to help you make positive changes. Being mindful as in the opening relaxation is one of them. The following are four more of my favorites.

TOOLS FOR POSITIVE CHANGE:

Learn How to Manage Your Energy 

Are you highly sensitive? Do you feel what others feel? In today’s world your life gets bombarded with a myriad of outside stimuli, from toxins in the air to the daily stresses of life. Learn what your body and spirit need by finding ways to nurture your inner self. 

This means recognizing when your energy system has become overloaded or depleted then taking time to relax and rejuvenate. 

There are different ways you can do this such as scheduling regular massages, taking healing baths, meditating, practicing yoga and going on retreats. 

Taking time to recharge your energy will prove to be an efficient tool to help you maintain health and wellness while in the midst of inner changes. 

Transform Negative Self-Talk 

Become aware of self-doubt, self-judgment and other types of negative thinking that erode your self-esteem and keep you from actualizing your potential. Your thoughts exert a powerful influence on your well being. 

Consistent negative thinking dampens your spirit and keeps you from manifesting your heart’s desire. It has also proven to lower your immune system thus contributing to health problems
.
Learn to balance negative thinking with self-acknowledgment. If you catch yourself entertaining negative thoughts, simply acknowledge the awareness, then replace with a positive affirmation. 

Over time you will find that your negative self-talk diminishes resulting in increased self-esteem, improved health and a better outlook on life. All will ease the process of change. 

Add Light to a Situation 

You can transform a situation by adding light to it. Light accelerates your growth and attracts your higher good. 

If you are not sure what you want or how to solve a problem create a symbol for it. Then surround your symbol with a ball of white light. 

Imagine the light illuminating your symbol and smoothing out any rough edges. Adding light in this way will bring clarity and ease the process of change. 

Adopt an Attitude of Gratitude 

Finally, be grateful for every beneficial change no matter how small. You can even begin by appreciating all that you have right now. 

Expressing gratitude promotes awareness, increases your connection to Source and expands your ability to receive from the Universe. It is one of the best ways to bring more good into your life.

Try incorporating these tools into your daily life. Change, even conscious change, often happens subtly over time. You will need to have patience and perseverance. However, the rewards are great.

About Author: Neenat Merchant Syal is the founder and writer of Positive Provocations, which features writing on positive thinking through healing the Mind, Body, Heart and Soul. She holds degrees in, and practices counseling psychology, motivational psychology, spiritual counseling, motivational speaking, holistic health and naturopathic medicine. Zeenat Merchant Syal is a spiritual traveler by passion, an eternal student and researcher in the school of life and all of its realities, including the fields of metaphysics and New Age thinking.

positiveprovocations.com

My Greatest Teacher

by Irene Martina - 

I was blessed to have a very insightful and intuitive mother who became my greatest teacher. 

 I would like to share with you 5 of her teachings and my learning’s.

1. Choose your thoughts carefully, they are your destiny.

Since the Secret has come out people have become more aware of the power of thoughts and choices but back in the 50’s when I grew up this type of wisdom was rare to get from parents.

We struggled through some hard times but my mother always told me to focus on the good things life could bring and when my sister and I did, we would see how right she was.

My philosophy to this day is that wherever I am in my life each day; it is exactly the blueprint I have created. You always have a choice about who you want to be and it starts with your thoughts so chose your thoughts carefully.

2. Be in the moment always, it’s all you really have.

I so often hear my clients tell me that they will begin to change or manifest or whatever next week or perhaps sometime tomorrow.

When I first started working with guides and discovered that they work on energy only that meant they worked on the energy I created with my thoughts, deeds and actions.

It amazed me to know that they did not care if that energy was positive or negative; it was just energy and they worked with whatever it was.

It did not take long to realize that saying tomorrow, next week, and perhaps later or “I will”… did not create a great response in my present time period until I realized there are no guarantees of a “tomorrow, next week or next month” and that our power was always in the moment.

This moment is the only moment in life we are given so it has the greatest point of power we will ever have. By not living in the moment we miss the joys, the teachings, and the manifesting that each day can bring and it is truly all we are ever going to have.

3. You Are Unique - Believe in Yourself!

I remember one day I was hurt by an insult a classmate gave me about my intuitive gifts and my mother’s teachings as being those of witchcraft. 

I often struggled with being different or strange as so many called me.

There were always wonderful moments before or at bedtime when she would listen to my daily tribulations and smile.

One day she asked me who I would like to change my life with for a day if I could do so.

 I told her I wanted to be a movie star like Elizabeth Taylor. Of course she asked me why! On and on I went about how beautiful she was, rich and famous and adored by millions.

As she often did, my mom made me close my eyes and visualize most of my life’s problems or desires. She had me visualize a day or week in Ms. Taylor’s world. I told her what I would want to do and my mom would stop me and tell me that what I was asking for was not possible as I had staff and 100’s of people that demanded time and work from her and I had a responsibility to produce for them.

She made me see a side of her life that could have been one of sadness because she had no privacy. She showed me how demanding and at times unrewarding and hard her life must be to become who and she was to the world.

At the end of our game she would smile and tell me how unique I was and that every person on the planet had been given a great gift when they were born; the gift of becoming who they were meant to be.

We are all unique she would say and each one of us would have our own “staring roll” in the world if we believed in our own magic; our own inner power.

She made me create a vision of what I would love to be in my world and that if I chose to be a star it would be of my making and based on my capabilities, talents and unique gifts.

Sadly, I have discovered so many people that I have met in my life who have wanted to be someone else.

They could never see their own talents and gifts that they were bringing into the world. They could not see or acknowledge their own power or greatness.

There is no duplicate of you so how can you fail!

You came into this world already special, unique and with one of kind gifts to share with those in this world that you will come into contact with.

Each of us has to find that inner power and belief in ourselves and when you do; you will become the star you are really seeking to be!

If you believe God created perfection in all things, than you must believe in you!


4. Love Yourself First.

Have you given yourself a hug today? If not, why not?

Do you realize that we seldom give ourselves some kind words, a mental hug, or a pat on the back?

Can you tell me if you said this gratitude today, “I am grateful for the strength of my spirit (courage, etc.) and for the wisdom of my choices?” If not, why not?

Realize that you really do come first! You cannot give what you do not have! You cannot give love if it is not in you to give. How do you love your family and friends the way they deserve to be loved if you are not loving yourself?

We are constantly giving away our power and when we need it for us; we are drained and too tired to feed our own soul’s, bodies and minds.

Can you write ten things down right now that you appreciate about yourself and read it aloud? If you can great, now have you taught your family and children how do this and why it is so important.


5.The Power of Gratitude

My mother worked about five different jobs a week for years to keep us off welfare.

 I did my best to make the house run smooth for her and to look after my younger sister.

 As she usually came home exhausted, she did not have the energy to take over as the housekeeper and chief bottle washer.

It was not always easy to keep up this pace and we struggled for years to keep our heads above water. She never complained and she was so grateful to us for everything we could do.

I never really saw my mom sick, unkind to anyone and she was generous to a fault.

When I was thirteen I rebelled one night. I got angry and frustrated at my sister because I could not go to a party and have some fun for a change.

My sister told my mother how I had been (verbally) mean to her and why. My mother said it was time we all had a date with each other and a treat.

She took a night off and we went to the restaurant for a meal which was rare and costly to her. She told us to order desserts and that was a real treat! When we got home she told us we had to learn to have “down time” and fun, even if it was not going to parties and out of the house.

My mother told us many ways we could treat ourselves such as long baths, listening to our favorite music, talking to friends and write in a journal to share our feelings. But most importantly she asked us to promise her that we would do something for her for the rest of our lives.

I have kept that promise and I want to share it with you.

Every night for many years she had us share at least five personal gratitude’s for the day. These gratitude’s had to include one for each other and for ourselves.

One day when we got older she had us add something new to the gratitude’s.

When saying the gratitude’s we had to start with working our day backwards because she said our dreams would be more powerful as we cleared the energy of the day.

She added another new step; after the gratitude’s we had to find our greatest lesson or gift from the day?

My mom, sister and I looked forward to the evening when we would play this game and we loved finding different gratitude’s each day. It changed our whole outlook on life and each other. When we were seventeen she added the last and most important step.

After we went to bed filled with our gratitude’s, learning’s and gifts we added a new saying in the morning. In her words it was simply this:

“When your feet hit the floor in the morning, simply say, “God whose life will I touch today?”

From that point on, she would ask us if we first touched our own life that day because we cannot touch a life with love unless we love ourselves first. She taught us how to hug ourselves and how important it was to do it often.

Asking to touch someone’s life each day brings more gratitude into your life than you can ever imagine.

When your hearts fills with love for others you know it is because you have discovered how to really love yourself. Our gratitude’s were even easier to come by each night from that day on.

irenemartina.com

Reframing Regrets as a Positive Tool

by Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat - 

Most of us regret that we have regrets. 

We know they make us our own worst enemies. We obsess about past events in our lives and wonder whether or not we made the right decisions or acted in the best ways. 

We blame ourselves for mucking things up and not listening to our better self, intuition, or conscience. In hard times, when things aren't going well, it's very tempting to try to figure out what we might have done differently.

Regret is ready, willing and able to have us second-guess our choices.

Listen to the resulting self-talk: 

• "Why didn't I consult someone and get their counsel before I made that decision?" 
• "Why didn't I look at the big picture before turning down that trip?" 
• "Why did I rush into that commitment before the relationship had gelled?" 
• "If only . . ." "
• What if . . ."

Often the result of this mastication of the past is a drain of energy and a waste of time. Most spiritual teachers would admonish us to stay in the moment and realize there's no way to re-make the past.

What's gone is gone. Let it be and let it go.

Another Perspective

Recently we were gratified to learn another perspective where regret no longer has a bad reputation. In a scientific study, men and women voted this emotion as the most beneficial of 12 negative emotions since it fostered self-inspection and personal growth. 

Tips on how to reframe regret as a positive tool:

1. Most spiritual teachers advise us not to get stuck in the past by focusing on our bad decisions. Instead follow the Tibetan Buddhist way of turning things around. 

Here the key is looking for what you can learn from a past pain or setback in your life. You can then turn your regrets into catalysts for change. 

2. If we are consumed by regrets we overlook all the good that has come from our decisions and actions. So when you find yourself having regrets, bring to mind times when you did the right thing and came out happy and fulfilled. 

Investigate how these positive memories are different from the memories that are filled with regret. Adjust your attitudes so that you are acting in ways consistent with your positive memories. 

3. In Judaism there is a rich and deep tradition of blessing all things. You might take this practice to heart and give thanks for all the choices and decisions you have made. 

By doing so, you can move beyond the self-blame and depression that comes from being stuck in regrets. 

4. An attitude of gratitude is always helpful and salutary when dealing with emotions like regret. Regret helps us clarify what is and is not important to us. 

Be thankful for the spiritual direction this emotion provides. Being thankful for all of the things that have happened to us is the spiritual path in many religions. Don't exclude anything! 

5. Follow this advice from Henry David Thoreau: 

"Make the most of your regrets; never smother your sorrow, but tend and cherish it till it comes to have a separate and integral interest. To regret is to live afresh." 

Move forward in the grand adventure of life and don't be afraid of taking risks. 

Take as your mantra for the week: 

"To regret is to live afresh."

spiritualityandpractice.com

Thanks for Nothing!

by Anodea Judith -

Don’t get me wrong. I’m eternally grateful for all the blessings that I have: work that I love, a new home to fix up, a loving relationship, to say nothing of living in these amazing times.

I hope that I never forget how lucky I am, and how fortunate we all are that we don’t have to labor like our ancestors did, to build the roads and railways to create the infrastructure that we take for granted today. In fact, gratitude is part of my spiritual practice.

The Easiest Way to be Grateful:

Rare Moments of Nothing

These days what I find I am most grateful for is those rare moments of nothing. 

The sweet emptiness of a good meditation, a day off where I can just putter, a moment of stillness in a yoga pose, a blank to-do list (well, frankly that has never happened but I would be grateful if it did!), a landscape without buildings, a clear sky or a moment of shared silence with a friend.

We put far too much emphasis on things. 

We think we need more things, better things, different things. We even see relationships as things, something that we have rather than a living process we are in.

Biologically, men have a thing, and women have a place. Men have created a world filled with the most marvelous things: televisions and computers, houses and automobiles, airplanes, and the internet.

Thank you, guys, for all your hard work. (I realize that women contribute to this, too, but it is largely the masculine paradigm that has focused on production.)

But in the process of creating things, the place has gotten trashed.

The environment is choked with pollution, and resources are disappearing faster than we can replace them. Temperatures are rising, bringing havoc to every natural and social system we have. The ocean is becoming acid and the topsoil is disappearing.

We seem to measure our worth in this culture by what we do, many of us feeling guilty when we’re not busy doing something productive. 

We may be making an even more important contribution by just being.

Driving less, eating less, buying less, doing less and making more time for simply communing with what is.

On a wonderful call I did recently on the topic of my global heart book, we had a “Conversation Concerto” in which listeners chimed in about the question:

“What can we do collectively to address the challenges of transformation that face us?” 

Over and over again, listeners stated the need for quiet and emptiness as one of the most important things we can do.

• We must disengage a clutch in order to change gears. 
• We have let go of what is to open to something new. 
• We have to be quiet to listen to guidance. 

Quieting down aligns with this time of year, when the green growing things are resting, settling their seeds underground for a winter’s rest.

So treasure your moments of nothing.

Treasure the shared silence of gratitude. Take a deep breath and remember to love both the things and the place.

sacredcenters.com

How to Clear Negative Energy Affecting Your Life

How Negative Energy Affects Your Life:

You know that like attracts like, right? So here’s the deal: Positive people are drawn to positive energy; negative people are drawn to negative energy.We tend to perceive negative energy as something other people have.

Sure, sometimes we feel negative – as in, “go away and leave me alone, world!” but did you know that negativity can be so ingrained in you that it goes unnoticed?

Negative energy may be so ingrained that you are unaware of it.That’s because negativity sometimes wears a disguise called ‘reality’. It’s easy to rationalize that you’re ‘just being realistic’ in not daring to act on a dream – and believe it!

You may assume that positive people are not being realistic – that they’re being naive, that they are in denial with their heads stuck in the sand, that they put on fake smiles in the face of difficulty and so forth. But are they really happy idiots or is there something to their positivity?

Consider this: since when does ‘being realistic’ necessarily mean that things will go wrong and that you have to accept that as the truth?

That doesn’t mean that being realistic is automatically negative. When you view the world from a ‘realistic’ standpoint, you can’t help but be negative IF your version of reality is negative.

If your version of reality is negative, you are conditioned to believe that whatever can go wrong, will go wrong and whatever can go right, will probably go wrong too.

Your unconsciously held beliefs make you into a negative person without your being aware of it!

So – if this negativity is so ingrained in you that you don’t notice it, how do you determine whether you’re stuck in a cloud of negative energy that is attracting the wrong people, wrong situations and wrong feelings? And how can you be sure you’re not perpetuating that negativity?

Quiz to gauge the level of negative energy within you:

• Do you complain? All the time or just sometimes?
• Do you often discuss what’s wrong in the world more than what’s right? This includes the ‘terrible’ weather, ‘horrible’ traffic, ‘idiotic’ government, ‘lousy’ economy, ‘stupid’ in-laws, etc.
• Do you criticize? All the time or just certain people?
• Are you attracted to drama and disaster (can you unglue yourself from the TV when there’s a news story of a disaster and can you avoid getting involved in the lives of dysfunctional celebrities?)
• Do you blame? All the time or just certain situations?
• Do you believe that you have no control over most of your results?
• Do you feel like a victim? Do you talk about people doing things to you?
• Are you grateful for what is or will you be grateful when things finally start going right for you?
• Do you feel like things are happening to you? Or do you feel that they are happening through you?
• This last two points are important:

Gratitude transforms negative energy into positive energy. 

If you’re not grateful except when things go right, you are negative. Gratitude is positive. If you are grateful for what is (including the unpleasant school of life lessons, then you can invite more and more positive energy into your life.

Believing that things happen to you puts you in the role of victim; then it’s easy to be negative because it’s convenient to give up that power.

So consider this alternative:

Who or what is to blame when GOOD things happen to you? Do you acknowledge that you are responsible for the good things – as in, you worked hard, you earned it, etc… but blame external events or other people for your failures? So how come, when good things happen, they are a result of what you do, but when bad things happen, they are not your fault?

Nobody likes to hear that. It takes courage to accept that you create your life experience!

If you answered yes to any of the above questions, you are holding on to negative energy to some degree! To clear your negative energy and raise your vibration, you will need to retrain yourself to choose a positive attitude.

Here’s another interesting idea to consider:

Have you noticed that positive people seem to get what they want out of life, and even if things don’t go their way, they still enjoy their lives… while negative people whine and moan about their misfortunes and even the good things in their lives?

You can CHOOSE to fill yourself with positive energy!

To clear negative energy, try this 3 -step process: 

1. Take ownership: “When you think everything is someone else’s fault, you will suffer a lot. When you realize that everything springs only from yourself, you will learn both peace and joy.” – the Dalai Lama 

2. Cancel negative thoughts and replace them with positive thoughts. 

This takes practice, dedication and making a decision to see the world through the eyes of “what can go right” instead of “what can go wrong.” You’ll have to catch yourself anytime you are acting out or speaking out your negativity, and immediately change your tune. 

3. Use the 'Love or Above Spiritual Toolkit' to clear your energy and bring more light and love into your life; visualize the positive instead of getting sucked into negativity; overcome past conditioning; think intuitively from the soul instead from ‘reality’; create a new, desired reality in your imagination and manifest it in the outer world. 

Nobody wants negative energy to permeate their lives, yet many of us allow it. But we allow it unconsciously, based on past conditioning that suggests an inevitable outcome to certain situations.

When you overcome that conditioning and realize that the future is NOT cast in stone but that you have more control over your circumstances than you believe – then you can begin to consciously design your life. 

What’s going to happen then? 

Your positive energy will magnetically attract what you consider to be good and right for you: people, situations, things… and you’ll notice a huge, huge increase in your happiness and inner peace.

Why not choose positive energy? Make some changes within, and you’ll quickly see positive changes in your life. Enjoy the good feelings and abundance!

loveorabove.com